Gotta Speak On It!

Self,

Well as some may know I am a suppressed artíst.  (By this I mean someone who hates the fact he has no artistic talent to flaunt.) And for that reason when I hear of someone doing an artistic project I try to be supportive.  So I am pleased to share the news that my friend and author of 12:34, Jamal Story, is working on another project.

This one is a stage production of dance and spoken word.  The project is called, The Soul in My Purse.  It is still in a development stage. Well actually it is written so really what that means is he looking for financial contributors to help fund some studio time to work with the cast to fine-tune the choreography, costumes, lighting etc etc.

The title should be a link to the donation page he has set up.  On the page there is video of the last workshop he did for this project.  I have not as of yet made a donation myself, I should take care of that by the end of the night.   Plus I'm waiting to make sure that after I make the donation I can actually use the ticket that my donation will include, for that I need to find out when he's scheduling the showing, and make sure I can get the time off to make the trip.

In the mean time, I urge you to check it out and if possible make a donation...even just a $1 as a sign of support.  Art is the expression of the soul, the collective body of art through out history becomes the expression of the Human Condition.  LOL making a donation of someone else's artistic expression atleast puts you in the category of a "suppressed artíst" like myself!

Sincerely,
Pharoah

As the World Turns

Self,

I woke up this Monday morning, tired and sore...just drained. That's from a weekend spent packing and trying to get stuff moved out of my apartment. On top of that when I woke up I received a text message from Prince Esquire informing me that "it's been 15 years since you sashayed out the closet to us at Irvine."

OK first off...I ain't "SASHAYED" anywhere, ever. The "us" he was referring to included himself and a mutual friend who I'll call here Miz Independence since she is a July 4th baby. And Irvine is the name of the city and university we attended.

But Oh my. 15 years....really! Has it been that long....it seems weird in so much as...that counts as nearly half my life.

I think back on the night when I sat him down on one of the benches on campus and let him know I was gay. For those that don't Prince Esquire and I have been friends since preschool. So my coming out wasn't about me expecting him to say "me too," or because I was looking to have him sexually. It was primarily administrative. We needed to sign and submit our paperwork requesting to be roommates as part of our campus housing. Due to our such long standing friendship at that point, I did not want us to agree to be roommates and then he finds out that I was gay and have a problem with it, causing us to have a falling-out and it getting back to our parents....ok getting back to my parents!

Dear lord, who would have guess that the sentimental sap that he is would be reminding me of that moment in my life....15 years later....and I dare say he may have done so almost to the day. Now it is such a common part of our friendship, that in terms of his comfortability with it that he has done just about everything but try to set me up on a date with someone.....lol maybe he's trying to keep me to himself. (lol that should teach you about calling me "old man,")

Sincerely,

Pharaoh

Could I Be A Hater?

Self,

If I am, then I blame the kids! No, I don't mean those adorable, angel-faced, shin-kicking, snotty-nosed, hell-raising, mini-people that are terrorizing the world from the sandboxes and their playpens. How could anyone blame those sweethearts of anything other than being divine gifts from the universe?

I'm talking about those other kids. The eye-rolling, hip-swinging, self-confident, sunglasses in the club at midnight wearing, super-chic, finger-snapping, ultra stylish, falling out on the dancefloor on que, trend-setting, stunting and claiming to be fierce dingalings.

Yes, THEM!

Now that you know who I blame, I'm sure you're wondering what they did. I know I'm going to get crap for this, but ...so be it.

BEYONCE!

She is their fault. Don't get me wrong, I think .....I know she is a very talented person. I was rocking to almost all of Destiny's Child stuff. I LOVE "If I Were a Boy," I am even growing into "Halo." Along with several other track from those "yesterdays."

However right now the bone I have to pick is "Diva." I know one of those afore mentioned "hip-swing kids" was a bug in her ear and told her how fabulous she is, how beautiful she is, how much they admire her, and how much they want to be just like her. The problem is that they're WRONG, well at least in so much as misnaming her. If you think that Beyonce is "fierce" for having made this song, then you may be one of those kids...lol just fess-up to it and let's move forward, shall we.

I'm sorry but the definition of a diva is NOT a female hustler - that's a prostitute.

A true diva has (and should have) WAY TOO much class, grace, intellect, and self-respect to associate herself with being called a female hustler. (And no Diva should not be synonymous with "bitch" either.) If I were to rank these "titles" starting at the top. I'll say you'll have:

Goddess (- examples here maybe Cleopatra, Nefertiti, Queen of Sheba, Hatshepsut, Queen Elizabeth I)
Diva
Queen
Princess
Lady
Woman
Girl

....and well some where below that you have your female hustler....way below. I will give Beyonce credit as hmmm a Woman and maybe even a Lady. She does have some of the qualities that goes into the making of a Diva...but she ain't there yet, and only time will tell if she will actually get there. LOL if she keeps listening to those kids who fallout on the dance floor in the club whenever one of her songs is played, then she may not make it.

I know that in the past I have also fell into the trap and slight habit of refering to someone who has done something....unexpected, remarkable, and/or inspirational as being "fierce" or a "diva." Yes, the comment is meant to be encouraging, endearing, and celebritory in nature, but at what cost. This scenario has makes it seem like we are promoting someone when really we just mean to say "job well done."

This situation has got me to thinking, who are some TRUE DIVAS. I even thought of creating a segment of "notes" labelled as "A True Diva Series" with the intent of pointing out examples of individuals that truly meet the requirement of a Diva. However, I finally stumbled across the means of creating a playlist on the blog and realized that a single blog about these individuals would not do them the justice they deserved and that the playlist on the page would be a much better tribute. Obviously if you have had your volume up as you been reading this you noticed that there are some male voices in rotation. That initially started because there was a duet and the pairing was extremely complimentary that it made me realize that there are a few fellas that also exemplify similar traits.

I hope you enjoy the musical selections from my "Classic Gems" playlist. This playlist is just a first installment. There are others who belong to this pantheon, and they may be added over time.

Sincerely,

Pharaoh

PS, I may drop a "True Diva" note from time to time, anyway.

Creating a More Perfect Union

Self,

Today I attended my first gay marriage ceremony.

One of the grooms was a fellow member of my bookclub. I initially wasn't going to attend, for pratical reasons. The ceremony was located in Palm Springs, a two hour drive from me. I really wasn't trying to spend money on a wedding gift. Those kinds of things.

However, with my recent thoughts about the importance of gay marriages, my own curiosity about how the couple would conduct their ceremony, and not to mention the urging from other bookclub members, I decided to attend.

It was nice. The invitation said the ceremony would start promptly at noon. The exact wording was Noon SHARP - lol they started late. (Ain't that just like Black folks!)

I forgot my camera, but I did manage to take a couple shots with my phone.

The groom who was a member of my bookclub is the bald, brown skin gentleman with his back to the camera. His husband is the other bald, brown skin gentleman standing directly across from him in the white.

The house the ceremony and reception was held at was beautiful. In addition to it's own architectual design glamour it was decked out in its holiday festive decor - including two Christmas trees that were easily 10ft tall if not more.

As I said I didn't take a lot of pictures so the only other one I took was of the cake of course. Which I now realized I left without getting a piece, but I had to leave when the driver said he was ready to go.

As you can see the cake also carried the beauty of the holiday season. What I thought was very unique and special is the cake topper. Most cereonies of course usually have plastic figurines of a couple either a bride and groom or two brides or two grooms. As you can see this couple strayed from that and have an etched glass plaque or trophy.

I really like this idea, not just for homosexual marriages but ALL marriages. For one thing it is more astectly pleasing to the eye then those plasic couples. The other is that it serves as a much better visual reminder of the couples commitment to each other.

I'm sure most people know of the tradition that the top tier of the wedding cake is suppose to be saved by the couple to enjoy on their first anniversary. When the couple is pissed at each other, what use will the cake and that plastic couple be to the real individuals if it's stuck in the freezer. Not to mention after the real couple makes it through that first anniversary and the cake has been eaten and the plastic folks thrown in the trash..or stuffed in a box in the garage. However, under the same situation, if this glass piece is sitting over the fireplace, on a dresser, or in a curio cabinet, the pissed off couple might rethink their positions and discuss things with their mate after getting a glance at it.

Anyway, I know it's hard to see, but on this plaque the couples names and today's date is engraved on one side of the heart-shaped glass. I wasn't able to read the inscription on the other side. However I have a strong feeling that it was romantic and endearing.

Lesson here:

Love is out there, and so there's still hope for me.

Sincerely,

Pharaoh

Gay Marriage Issue

Self,

I was trying not to jump on the band wagon and write a note about the Prop 8 debacle here in California and the gay marriage rights issue in general, not because I didn't have an opinion - obviously I do - but because I mostly didn't want to be repetitive.

Then it happened. Prince EsQuire wrote an entry on his blog about the matter*. Of course, I read it. Before you jump to a conclusion it wasn't hateful or anything. In fact he made good sense. In short, he argued that basically the problem the two sides are having is that they are using the same word "marriage" but with different connotations which is causing some confusing. I suggest reading his "editorial" to make sure you get the full picture.

The Same-sex marriage supporters are using the word in regards to the right of a spouse, when it comes to things like parenting of children after a spouse dies, property ownership, next of kin during a crisis, along with others concerns. ALL of these issues should be address. Denying them is hypocritical to human nature.

The pro- "traditional*" marriage side is using the word in a religious persective. They argue that it is a bond connecting a man's and woman's heart and soul to each other, as well as their physical bodies.

Prince EsQuire suggest that gay marriage supporters would be more successful if they pushed simply for the legal issues and not so much for the marriage "title." He said that for legal purposes, maybe a new word should be use to replace "marriage" and that in the confines of this new term on paper the relationship should be view as a business partnership, (both to heterosexual and homosexual couples.) The idea being that gay couples would get the legal equalities as they heterosexual counterparts and the new term won't carry the same baggage.

This is a good idea and could be a very good start. However, when I read his statement about these relationships being viewed as a business arrangement, I was stung. (Ok initally I thought he wanted to use the term just for gay couples but I misread it, but even still to me the problem is that this concepts removes not only the spiritual/religious aspect from the relationship but also its romamtic side.)

That got me to thinking (lol ok it hurts when I do that.) Maybe the two opposing camps really are talking about the same thing... just... well... covertly on the sly. I mean according to Wikipedia Domestic partnerships provide gay couple with these rights:

- Making health care decisions for each other in certain circumstances
- Hospital and jail visitation rights that were previously reserved for family members related by blood, adoption or marriage to the sick, injured or incarcerated person.
- Access to family health insurance plans

- Spousal insurance policies (auto, life, homeowners etc..), this applies to all forms of insurance through the California Insurance Equality Act
- Sick care and similar family leave
- Stepparent adoption procedures
- Presumption that both members of the partnership are the parents of a child born into the partnership
- Suing for wrongful death of a domestic partner
Rights involving wills, intestate succession, conservatorships and trusts
- The same property tax provisions otherwise available only to married couples

- Access to some survivor pension benefits
- Supervision of the Superior Court of California over dissolution and nullity proceedings
- The obligation to file state tax returns as a married couple

- The right for either partner to take the other partner's surname after registration
- Community property rights and responsibilities previously only available to married spouses
- The right to request partner support (alimony) upon dissolution of the partnership (divorce)
- The same parental rights and responsibilities granted to and imposed upon spouses in a marriage

Honestly, I'm not sure what else remains legally to request. It does lack the idea of a spiritual union that is implicated by LOVE. I would have a hard time when my perpetually single ass finds a good man to build a life with through love and that union is viewed only as a business partnership. So can gay rights activists really just be pushing for the title of marriage for that intangible item that they feel is lacking in legal documents? Probably. Is it "right," - well it is a means to an end....even if it is a bit dishonest.

"Traditional" marriage supporters find themselves in their own conundrum. They understand the logic, rationale and practicality of the legality concerns of the same-sex marriage supporters, and see behind the smokescreen that arguement represent. At the same time they can't reconcile their own prejudice and homophobia with the fact that they themselves have already eroded the sanctity of marriage that they are supposedly trying to perserve. So they hide behind their children, by claiming that marriage is for procreation and that they do not want the concept of gay marriages being taught in schools. Even that is flawed and makes them stand in the muck of hypocracy due to the general awarenes of the number of children born out of wedlock EVERYDAY. On top of that, I didn't learn about marriage IN SCHOOL. Rather, I learned it at home, from my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Lol and if I did learn about marriage in school it was on the PLAYGROUND from and with other kids, not the teacher in the CLASSROOM...and I bet it was the same for most people.

The idea of a new unique word to me isn't needed, but if it helps to alleviate the situation then I'm for it. I think that the most appropiate word already exists. In fact I've used it MULTIPLE times in this "note." Can you figure out which word I mean? (Hint: it's the second word in the title line and it starts with the letter "M.") That's right "Marriage", you are so smart! =) It defines the union between two individuals in the matters of both LOVE and social/civil situations. By itself it can be used in generalizations. For those that need to make a distinction between same-sex couples and opposite-sex couples, simply add an adjective. Leading us to "homosexual marriages" and "heterosexual marriages." Duh, right? Take the word "restroom." It's defined as "a room that provides a toilet(s)." By adding either a "men's" or "women's" infront of the word to specify rather males or females are allowed to use the room we can be more specific about the topic. So do we need a different word for the women's restrom than the men's room. If so, I vote "vajayjay office" for women. Really just keep it simple.

Let love reign.

Sincerely,

Pharaoh

PS Sorry - none of the spacing and line breaks seems to work. No matter how many times I press the spacebar or enter this thing squeezes everything back together.

* http://www.esquireqlique.blogspot.com/

* Traditionally marriage is "til dealth do we part" not "I'm tired of you're triffling ass-" or "I found someone I think is better-" rather it's been six months or 30 years "-So, I'm out."

A Heart Full of Love!

Self,
I found this on someone else's blog and was so entranced, emotional.....hell I'm speechless. It's something that I felt deserved to be shared. Ironic that I wrote a "note" about the struggle of being young, African-american, and gay, and here is a testimony of that struggle and survival of the struggle if not thriving.

There's a lot swirling and spining in my head that I want to say. However, I think I want to wait and do it on another "note" after I've sort it out a bit.
I will however make an attempt to speak with the filmaker.




Sincerely,
Pharaoh

All about the kidz

Self,

I've been doing some interesting ready this morning. I've been following links to other bloggers and reading snipets. For some reason I found a number of young (lol younger than me) Black gay men...(no real suprise I was clicking on all the pictures of the cute boiz.)

What was intriguing is how a few of thiem discussed the idea of suicide due to their unhappiness that comes with with the association of being gay....and they finding the encouragement/self- worth from blogging. There's a part of me that commend them for making those connections by any means necessary.
The other part of me, wonders where are the mentors for these fellas and in general? You know the idea of "Each One, Teach One." I know I don't really discuss my sexuality and its issues except with a small few but it's a hard journey and not one that is really done alone. I been blessed that the in my life gay or str8 , peers or elders have helped to influence the man I am today......and continue to do so. (I hope that I an having a similar effect on them and others s well.)
I was very happy to read a couple blogs that express their authors being in love and having a good relationship. (Being perpetually single there was a tinge of envy, but I was happy to see that is is out there and it is inspiring/influcening these young men.)

Now granted I think all younsters need a PERSONAL mentor (personal meaning someone with whom they can converse - ie unless you are having an ongoing dialogue with Kobe or Shaq they shouldn't count) but really if "it's hard out here for a pimp," then dammit try being young black and gay!

So this post is for those guys who's blogs I peeked at today and are bravely walking this path. By all mean holla out if you get stuck/lost and want some additional insight. I wish I could do more.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh