Getting Lost....And Found

Self,

Not to long ago I stopped and visited my Aunt Kwe-Kwe...or is it Cray-Cray...lol anyway.  Along with all the other things that goes with our visits, she shared some new music with me....there's three CDs but I'm only discussing one in this entry. 

This is for those jazz heads!

The CD:  The Mosaic Project
The Artist:   Terri Lynn Carrington (you may remember her as the drummer and musical director for the band on the Arsenio Hall Show in the '90s.)
The Track:  "I Got Lost in His Arms"

I am not ashamed to say that I have been rocking the hell out of this song!  I love it!  It has a funky groove, the horns are on FI-YAH.    Below is a Youtube clip giving you a sample of it.




HOT, Right,?!?!?  I'm not done.   As hot as the arrangement is, I think what hits home the most for me are the lyrics;

I got lost in his arms

And I had to stay;

It was dark in his arms

And I lost my way.

From the dark came a voice

And it seemed to say,

There you go,

There you go.

How I felt as I fell

I just can't recall.

But his arms held me fast

And it broke the fall.

And I said to my heart,

As it foolishly kept jumping

All around,

I got lost,

But look what I've found.

These words are communing to a part of me.  The more I listen to the song....which is almost constantly riding around in Thunderbolt, the more I realize...That's something I want.  I want to get lost in someone's arms and be astonished at the fact that I am also holding on to a treasure....I don't mean a trophy, but something to truely cherish. 

On top of that.....I want that feeling for everybody!  Of course I am more confident that it will happen for others than myself...and I will always be that cheerleader to push folks towards it when I think I see it....but alas for me I just don't know.  However I am in a ongoing discussion with DaBlackHobbit about faith and fear and I'm choosing to have faith....and take actions regardless of the results....that's always the hard part.....for all of us....everyone is always affraid of being hurt/dissappointed/let down AGAIN, that the fear of it causes paralysis.

I would like to think that it will happen...for me, my friends and everyone else, it just takes time and patience.  But atleast its progress from the days when my heart communed with "Good Morning Heartache" and "This Bitter Earth"......OK...both songs can still stop me in my tracks and nearly bring tear to my eyes, but hey there's still some growth there dammit! LOL.

Sincerely,
Pharoah

Strap It Up and Strap It On!?

Self,

So I don't know what I'm doing that is attracting this...array of people.

Last night on one of those social media phone apps....I got hit up by a WOMAN...no I don't mean a fem gay man....I mean a W-O-M-A-N who wants to meet a man that would be willing to let her F*ck him using a strap on dildo.

I don't know what made her think I would be open to it.  When she asked me about rather I would be open to it...because the conversation started with the game backgammon, I told her I didn't know cause I never thought about it.  I asked her why don't she do it with a nother woman...and she said he not attracted to women that way....go figure.

I feel like I am sending out a "bat-signal" into the universe that reads something like the plaque on the statue of liberty...."send me your inexperienced, horny, freaky huddled masses...."

I have had a number of virgins approach me ...some wanting me to be their first.  Did I mention the kid that asked if I knew any other tops/vers guys...and if I could host a group? 

Man, if I were to ever let my internal sex beast cut loose....I would either shrivel up from all the semen I would have to produce to keep up....or would simply drown from it!

Sincerely,

Pharoah

PS...Dammit when I put it that way....it's kinda a turn on!  That is cutting the beast loose, not the strap on.

A Good Day

Self,

So yesterday was a good day!

It started out with a go-see.....that neither of us wanted to end.

We meet at 11am at The Grove outdoor shopping center.  We went to one of the restaurants there and had brunch....and talked.  When we finished eating we walked around a bit visiting a few of the stores there, one of which was the Apple store.  He then suggested that we leave and go a few blocks of the street to a Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf to sit and talk some more.  After about another 2 hours of talking he wanted me to ride with him a few blocks to the Beverly Center mall so he could check for something at the Apple store in that mall.  We walked and talked as we meandered through the mall and then finally he took me back to my car where we then made plans to see each other later in the week and went our seperate ways.

I had a good time, he seems like a good dude.  What I'm not sure how I to deal with is his age...he just turned 49...granted the body and all doesn't look over 35-36....I know it probably seems small...but it still.......puzzle me if we get to a point where we are talking long-term situations. 

However I guess I shouldn't put the cart before the house, and just wait and see.

Pharoah