Self,
I been meaning to write this but been distracted.
SO this is where things are;
No. 1 - My grandmother passed away this week. I will miss her. The service is planned for Aug 24.
No. 2 - A friend who recently had a couple toes amputated is being told that now they want to take the leg up to his knee. I feel bad for him and worse that I'm not in a place to be of more assistance.
No. 3 - Still house hunting and a bit pissed that when I found one that I was considering, it was sold while I was waiting on my agent to make the appointment so I could see the inside of it....this has now happened to 2 properties.
Well I think that's it for now.
Sincerely,
Pharoah
Showing posts with label I Have No Words. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I Have No Words. Show all posts
Friday, August 9, 2013
Friday, May 31, 2013
I Don't know!
Self,
I found this on somebody's Facebook page....you gotta see it - then we can talk about it!
...Well...Thoughts???? Oh ok lets address the obvious...they seem blessed...especially the one in the grey shorts.
(umm yeah that definitely looks GAY!)
I found this on somebody's Facebook page....you gotta see it - then we can talk about it!
...Well...Thoughts???? Oh ok lets address the obvious...they seem blessed...especially the one in the grey shorts.
On FB alot of the comments were about how "gay" it is to people. A couple guys even said that it was too gay for them to even watch all of the clip....lol ironically some woman pulled their card by pointing out that it's a little suspect that these guys even STARTED to watch a clip titled: "DICK SLANG." I wouldn't be surprised if some of you even think/say it looks gay to you too....I won't lie, for a minute so did I.
However reading the comments and seeing all the negativity that was being associated with it, begs the question - WHY? What is actually gay about the the clip?
I mean if they were doing this "dance" in such a way that they doing the 'Dick Slang' in each other's face or were holding one another's dicks while it slang....yeah I would give you a pass on it being gay. Is it gay simply because these guys are in a room by themselves...would it be 'straight' if there were just as many females or more in the room watching....isn't that what Chippendale's and those places are about....'dick dancing.' And if it is gay just because they are in the room with no females, does that mean all Chippendale dancers only perform with female audiences so they don't get accused of being gay because they are practicing alone....trying to perfect their 'artistry?'
Is it gay because these guys are seemingly average (if not actually masculine or even'thuggish') and they are acknowledging (maybe even praising) masculinity and sexuality among each other. Has it become a crime for men to do that for each other? I mean it's not like they were saying "damn you got a big dick JaKwuan, let me suck it," so they arent being vulgar and offensive in the acknowledgement.
Is the negativity that the comments exuded (like "SMH," and "what's the world coming to,") because they are doing this dance and have a degree of machismo masculinity. If the guys in this picture were the ones doing the "Dick Slang" dance would the comments been more like "Them boys are getting it." "Twerk it!" "FIERCE" etc, etc, etc???
(umm yeah that definitely looks GAY!)
Just something to ponder.
Sincerely, Pharoah
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Dark Days in the Kingdom
Self,
I didn't realize it has been so long since I wrote anything here. Sadly, I can't totally say that it was just an oversight on my part. I have been avoiding posting anything on here for a while....because I felt that I was complaining or whining and being negative. So I been waiting to be able to come from a more positive place....and I guess I just haven't been in that place until now.
This past weekend at the urging of my cousin, the royal family went to Arizona contengent. Overall, it was a good visit. It was great to see them! Plenty of food and merriment! I mean it was the first time we were all under one roof, in a long time and definitely the case for 2013. When I say "we," I mean the WHOLE family! The attending royals were: Pharoah, the royal parents and brother; my cousin, her husband and sons, my mom's older sister, my mom's younger brother; their youngest brother, his wife and two kids; and my grandmother.
I mentioned my grandmother last because she was the reason for the event. My cousin thought it would be good for my grandma to see us all together. The part that has me with a heavy heart is that my cousin suggested this because it seems my grandmother is beginning to suffer from the onset of dementia. I don't know if she is aware of it. My aunt and cousin relayed stories to us of my grandma mental loss. Like her laying in bed saying mama (her grandmother) told her she had to get up to go to school. (Like she was 8-9). Or the funny one of how my grandma was going to take a relative of my cousin's husband back to her home to work on the farm and she needed new sheets for the bed becasue they were going to be sleeping together (the afore mentioned relative is 30 and could be one of her grandchildren, the house she talking about has been demolished.) I watched as my grandma started a conversation, engage in the details of it and finish it. Then not even a full five minutes restart the conversation exactly as she did the first time...as if she didn't just have it.
The hardest moment for me, was a night my grandma woke up at like 3am calling out for someone, I go to check on her and she says she don't know where my grandfather is, he's not in bed, she's not sure if he went to the bathroom or fell on the other side of of the bed. (My grandfather died two years ago.)
So yeah, I'm not feeling totally positive and up beat.
Sincerely,
Pharoah
I didn't realize it has been so long since I wrote anything here. Sadly, I can't totally say that it was just an oversight on my part. I have been avoiding posting anything on here for a while....because I felt that I was complaining or whining and being negative. So I been waiting to be able to come from a more positive place....and I guess I just haven't been in that place until now.
This past weekend at the urging of my cousin, the royal family went to Arizona contengent. Overall, it was a good visit. It was great to see them! Plenty of food and merriment! I mean it was the first time we were all under one roof, in a long time and definitely the case for 2013. When I say "we," I mean the WHOLE family! The attending royals were: Pharoah, the royal parents and brother; my cousin, her husband and sons, my mom's older sister, my mom's younger brother; their youngest brother, his wife and two kids; and my grandmother.
I mentioned my grandmother last because she was the reason for the event. My cousin thought it would be good for my grandma to see us all together. The part that has me with a heavy heart is that my cousin suggested this because it seems my grandmother is beginning to suffer from the onset of dementia. I don't know if she is aware of it. My aunt and cousin relayed stories to us of my grandma mental loss. Like her laying in bed saying mama (her grandmother) told her she had to get up to go to school. (Like she was 8-9). Or the funny one of how my grandma was going to take a relative of my cousin's husband back to her home to work on the farm and she needed new sheets for the bed becasue they were going to be sleeping together (the afore mentioned relative is 30 and could be one of her grandchildren, the house she talking about has been demolished.) I watched as my grandma started a conversation, engage in the details of it and finish it. Then not even a full five minutes restart the conversation exactly as she did the first time...as if she didn't just have it.
The hardest moment for me, was a night my grandma woke up at like 3am calling out for someone, I go to check on her and she says she don't know where my grandfather is, he's not in bed, she's not sure if he went to the bathroom or fell on the other side of of the bed. (My grandfather died two years ago.)
So yeah, I'm not feeling totally positive and up beat.
Sincerely,
Pharoah
Friday, October 12, 2012
Strap It Up and Strap It On!?
Self,
So I don't know what I'm doing that is attracting this...array of people.
Last night on one of those social media phone apps....I got hit up by a WOMAN...no I don't mean a fem gay man....I mean a W-O-M-A-N who wants to meet a man that would be willing to let her F*ck him using a strap on dildo.
PS...Dammit when I put it that way....it's kinda a turn on! That is cutting the beast loose, not the strap on.
So I don't know what I'm doing that is attracting this...array of people.
Last night on one of those social media phone apps....I got hit up by a WOMAN...no I don't mean a fem gay man....I mean a W-O-M-A-N who wants to meet a man that would be willing to let her F*ck him using a strap on dildo.
I don't know what made her think I would be open to it. When she asked me about rather I would be open to it...because the conversation started with the game backgammon, I told her I didn't know cause I never thought about it. I asked her why don't she do it with a nother woman...and she said he not attracted to women that way....go figure.
I feel like I am sending out a "bat-signal" into the universe that reads something like the plaque on the statue of liberty...."send me your inexperienced, horny, freaky huddled masses...."
I have had a number of virgins approach me ...some wanting me to be their first. Did I mention the kid that asked if I knew any other tops/vers guys...and if I could host a group?
Man, if I were to ever let my internal sex beast cut loose....I would either shrivel up from all the semen I would have to produce to keep up....or would simply drown from it!
Sincerely,
Pharoah
Saturday, October 1, 2011
No Longer on the Approved List
Self,
So I'm out of town....down south, visiting a friend and I have to stay in a hotel because there isn't room for me where my friend lives. I book my hotel online...it was less expensive then most of the other listings...but it wasn't free.
I was scheduled to arrive about 12:30AM but for some reason the flight was delayed before I left LAX so I didn't arrive at my destination until about 2AM. I wander through the airport to find the rental car counter and by the time I finished the paperwork and got in the car and figured my way out of the airport on to the freeway it was about 2:45AM. Luckily since this is a city I'm not that familiar with I got a GPS system to go with the rental car. I enter the address and start trying to follow the instructions, but that wasn't as easy as it sounds because the Nav-system was trying to make me take a Toll road and I just wasn't having it....mainly because I had NO cash on me....and I hate the idea of having to pay to be on a road.
I finally make my way to the hotel. I park, walk101 to the office and it's locked. A sign is posted saying after 8pm to ring the buzzer, so I did. No answer. I ring it again. No Answer. I ring again, and again, and again. Still no answer. I go back to the car, use my phone to call directory assistance ask for the hotel listing and get the automated system and finallyget the prompt to speak to the operator.....it rings, and rings, and rings again....then disconnects. Apparently this place does not have 24hr desk service. I have no choice but to wait the three hours til the office opens at 7am in the back seat of the rental car. I was not happy.
Sincerely,
Pharoah
PS. Don't let anyone tell you the backseat of a Ford Mustang is comfortable.....you'll find your find yourself under Plymouth Rock.
So I'm out of town....down south, visiting a friend and I have to stay in a hotel because there isn't room for me where my friend lives. I book my hotel online...it was less expensive then most of the other listings...but it wasn't free.
I was scheduled to arrive about 12:30AM but for some reason the flight was delayed before I left LAX so I didn't arrive at my destination until about 2AM. I wander through the airport to find the rental car counter and by the time I finished the paperwork and got in the car and figured my way out of the airport on to the freeway it was about 2:45AM. Luckily since this is a city I'm not that familiar with I got a GPS system to go with the rental car. I enter the address and start trying to follow the instructions, but that wasn't as easy as it sounds because the Nav-system was trying to make me take a Toll road and I just wasn't having it....mainly because I had NO cash on me....and I hate the idea of having to pay to be on a road.
I finally make my way to the hotel. I park, walk101 to the office and it's locked. A sign is posted saying after 8pm to ring the buzzer, so I did. No answer. I ring it again. No Answer. I ring again, and again, and again. Still no answer. I go back to the car, use my phone to call directory assistance ask for the hotel listing and get the automated system and finallyget the prompt to speak to the operator.....it rings, and rings, and rings again....then disconnects. Apparently this place does not have 24hr desk service. I have no choice but to wait the three hours til the office opens at 7am in the back seat of the rental car. I was not happy.
Sincerely,
Pharoah
PS. Don't let anyone tell you the backseat of a Ford Mustang is comfortable.....you'll find your find yourself under Plymouth Rock.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
I Just Heard....
Self,
Well this morning on my way to work, I heard a news snippet that the R&B star, Sly Stone of the group Sly & the Family Stone, is currently destitute here in the Los Angeles area. It's reported that he is living in a camper in the Crenshaw district, where a retired couple makes sure he eats atleast once a day and allow him the use of their shower.
My reason for posting initially was that I saw this as a tradgic example of people (ok and specificaly Black people) coming into a whole lot of money and not knowing how to properly handle it, which eventually leads to it being squander. Helping to educate people on how to make better choices is why I am working in the financial industry. It's my belief that we would do better, if we know better.
When I got to a computer I did a google search, really looking for a picture to use in my posting, but I found an article that I read in stead to get more info. The article partially confirmed my suspicion, in so much as it was reported that Stone bought numerous, "toys" like cars and motorcyles. Stone also states that his situation stems from drug addiction, and a problem with what sounds like corrupt management.
The article also annoyed me due to the fact that it's opening paragraph states that Stone isliving in "a rough Los Angeles neighborhood," and the second paragraph states that "parks his motor home in the Crenshaw section of L.A., the brutal neighborhood where the movie "Boyz n the Hood" was filmed." Now I don't know if the movie reference is true or not, but either way it certainly paints the area with the images from the MOVIE and not neccesarily the full reality. For all we know, he might be parking his camper in the pocket where there are homes worth upwards of a million dollars? It certainly does not paint that community fairly as the Over-worked and Under paid citizens that live there. I ain't saying that the place is paradise....but I don't think they should envoke the idea of hell on earth either.
Sincerely,
Pharoah
Well this morning on my way to work, I heard a news snippet that the R&B star, Sly Stone of the group Sly & the Family Stone, is currently destitute here in the Los Angeles area. It's reported that he is living in a camper in the Crenshaw district, where a retired couple makes sure he eats atleast once a day and allow him the use of their shower.
My reason for posting initially was that I saw this as a tradgic example of people (ok and specificaly Black people) coming into a whole lot of money and not knowing how to properly handle it, which eventually leads to it being squander. Helping to educate people on how to make better choices is why I am working in the financial industry. It's my belief that we would do better, if we know better.
When I got to a computer I did a google search, really looking for a picture to use in my posting, but I found an article that I read in stead to get more info. The article partially confirmed my suspicion, in so much as it was reported that Stone bought numerous, "toys" like cars and motorcyles. Stone also states that his situation stems from drug addiction, and a problem with what sounds like corrupt management.
The article also annoyed me due to the fact that it's opening paragraph states that Stone isliving in "a rough Los Angeles neighborhood," and the second paragraph states that "parks his motor home in the Crenshaw section of L.A., the brutal neighborhood where the movie "Boyz n the Hood" was filmed." Now I don't know if the movie reference is true or not, but either way it certainly paints the area with the images from the MOVIE and not neccesarily the full reality. For all we know, he might be parking his camper in the pocket where there are homes worth upwards of a million dollars? It certainly does not paint that community fairly as the Over-worked and Under paid citizens that live there. I ain't saying that the place is paradise....but I don't think they should envoke the idea of hell on earth either.
Sincerely,
Pharoah
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Something Else I've Been Feeling.....
Self,
Since I already wrote a post this week about what pisses me off....I might as well stick to the theme and write about something that is perplexing me at the moment.
Well truth be told this is something that has been on my mind and I just didn't know how to address it with the person it involves. I'm not going to name the person here because I still want to discuss it directly with that person. However, I must admit that I'm not sure if I'm just crazy and making a mountain out of a mole hill, or is there really an issue that needs to be worked out.
So here I go;
Ordinarily I would say that my friends are very supportive of me and I am equally supportive of them. Rather that means just being encouraging with a high five and a "You go, Boy/Girl"....and yes maybe even a "YOU BETTA WORK!" Of course being supportive of each other may also mean putting our money where our mouth is and gettin' up off our asses and helping them to "do the damn thing!" Either way....as friends we're there for each other. Sounds good so far, right?
So my dilemma is that a while back a particular friend asked for me to support an endeavor that fell in the category of "put my money where my mouth is" because a simple "You Betta Work," really wouldn't get this friend very far. And I did, not a problem.
Not too long afterwards, I asked for this friend's help with something. No, I wasn't just asking for help out of a "tick for tack" or "quid-pro-quo" mentality, because I actually saw an opportunity under the circumstances where my request could actually be a benefit to both of us. Therefore, my friend would essentially get double help. The response was basically: Let me think about it and get back to you.
Okay, I can understand needing time to process things in order to figure out the logistics of making the request a reality. However, I still haven't heard anything. Frankly, this isn't the first time I made the request and got the same "I'll think about it" type response. However, I thought this time I was more concise and clear about how it would help me and that the request would be received even more favorably (beyond just the "I'm your friend, so help me" stuff,) considering I figured out a way so that it would be a benefit to us both.
So I've been feeling slighted for a while and I'm not sure how to bring it up to this friend. Honestly, I feel more than just slighted - I feel hurt and frustrated. I don't know if the problem is that I'm crazy for having expected this friend to help in the first place. I don't know if I'm feeling as if this friend has taken advantage of me. I don't know if I'm feeling betrayed from all the times that I have stood in support of this friend and now I can't get any reciprocation. I don't know if this friend simply lacks confidence or faith in me and my abilities and therefore doesn't want to lend a supporting hand. Or is it that I've been a poor judge of character for the duration of this friendship and this friend is really the type that wants to keep me on what they feel is a lower status, therefore this friend won't be supportive because they think it would propel me to a point that surpasses this friend's reach.
I mean I really just don't know.....?????????????????????
Sincerely,
Pharoah
Since I already wrote a post this week about what pisses me off....I might as well stick to the theme and write about something that is perplexing me at the moment.
Well truth be told this is something that has been on my mind and I just didn't know how to address it with the person it involves. I'm not going to name the person here because I still want to discuss it directly with that person. However, I must admit that I'm not sure if I'm just crazy and making a mountain out of a mole hill, or is there really an issue that needs to be worked out.
So here I go;
Ordinarily I would say that my friends are very supportive of me and I am equally supportive of them. Rather that means just being encouraging with a high five and a "You go, Boy/Girl"....and yes maybe even a "YOU BETTA WORK!" Of course being supportive of each other may also mean putting our money where our mouth is and gettin' up off our asses and helping them to "do the damn thing!" Either way....as friends we're there for each other. Sounds good so far, right?
So my dilemma is that a while back a particular friend asked for me to support an endeavor that fell in the category of "put my money where my mouth is" because a simple "You Betta Work," really wouldn't get this friend very far. And I did, not a problem.
Not too long afterwards, I asked for this friend's help with something. No, I wasn't just asking for help out of a "tick for tack" or "quid-pro-quo" mentality, because I actually saw an opportunity under the circumstances where my request could actually be a benefit to both of us. Therefore, my friend would essentially get double help. The response was basically: Let me think about it and get back to you.
Okay, I can understand needing time to process things in order to figure out the logistics of making the request a reality. However, I still haven't heard anything. Frankly, this isn't the first time I made the request and got the same "I'll think about it" type response. However, I thought this time I was more concise and clear about how it would help me and that the request would be received even more favorably (beyond just the "I'm your friend, so help me" stuff,) considering I figured out a way so that it would be a benefit to us both.
So I've been feeling slighted for a while and I'm not sure how to bring it up to this friend. Honestly, I feel more than just slighted - I feel hurt and frustrated. I don't know if the problem is that I'm crazy for having expected this friend to help in the first place. I don't know if I'm feeling as if this friend has taken advantage of me. I don't know if I'm feeling betrayed from all the times that I have stood in support of this friend and now I can't get any reciprocation. I don't know if this friend simply lacks confidence or faith in me and my abilities and therefore doesn't want to lend a supporting hand. Or is it that I've been a poor judge of character for the duration of this friendship and this friend is really the type that wants to keep me on what they feel is a lower status, therefore this friend won't be supportive because they think it would propel me to a point that surpasses this friend's reach.
I mean I really just don't know.....?????????????????????
Sincerely,
Pharoah
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Seriously?
Self,
So why have I been contacted by yet another person from my past? This dude is FINE as hell...body, good looks, Phat ass....juciy....well you know. Whew!
However, I haven't heard from him since 2009. And like Nakki, I think he contacted me because he doesn't remember my profile (although it has not changed, much) on the site we were on initially, however he is using a new profile.
Honestly I don't know what to do with this...part of me just wants to brush him off like he did me back then, particularly since things with KB are going well. However, I be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to find out why he contacted me and if he remembers me.
Sincerely,
Pharoah
So why have I been contacted by yet another person from my past? This dude is FINE as hell...body, good looks, Phat ass....juciy....well you know. Whew!
However, I haven't heard from him since 2009. And like Nakki, I think he contacted me because he doesn't remember my profile (although it has not changed, much) on the site we were on initially, however he is using a new profile.
Honestly I don't know what to do with this...part of me just wants to brush him off like he did me back then, particularly since things with KB are going well. However, I be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to find out why he contacted me and if he remembers me.
Sincerely,
Pharoah
Monday, March 21, 2011
Gramps
Self,
Well my grandfather has been in the hospital for just about two weeks now. Yesterday, he was moved to the ICU and put on a respirator to help keep is lungs clear of blood and fluids....particularly until they figure out where the blood is coming from.
He looks SOOOOO frail and fragile.................So not the man of my childhood and memories.
Right now things aren't looking too good.
However I don't write this to acknowledge his demise. Instead I'm entwining my prayers and well wishes with those of my family (yours are welcomed and appreciated) so that this can be used to document the blessing of his pending recovery.
Love,
Pharoah
Well my grandfather has been in the hospital for just about two weeks now. Yesterday, he was moved to the ICU and put on a respirator to help keep is lungs clear of blood and fluids....particularly until they figure out where the blood is coming from.
He looks SOOOOO frail and fragile.................So not the man of my childhood and memories.
Right now things aren't looking too good.
However I don't write this to acknowledge his demise. Instead I'm entwining my prayers and well wishes with those of my family (yours are welcomed and appreciated) so that this can be used to document the blessing of his pending recovery.
Love,
Pharoah
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
DAMN!!!!
Self,
I found this and had to share, but back off because he's mine, DAMMIT!
Sincerely,
Pharoah
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