Is It Me?

Self,

I know some employers develop things to boost moral and encourage their employees as a sign of appreciation. Mine isn't any different.  Not too long ago my department came up with the "Employee Excellence Award."  It would be like an "Employee of the Month" award but it takes so long for them to complete the selection process that the month would be over tthreefold by the time the nominees were named.  So the award is given out on a semi-annual basis and the canidate is nominated to the committee by his or her peers.  I don't think the winner really gets anything besides a certificate....maybe a designated parking space, but don't quote me on that. 

Obviously a person can't nominate him/herself.

Here's the thing, the other day one of my two supervisors (not the one that is actually on the EEA selection committee,)  came to me said he had an idea.  After stepping outside to speak "privately" he then proceeded to suggest that I nominate one of my team members because I write well and therefore can complete the task successfully.

OK I agree about the I write well part.  I like the guy he suggested and I don't really have a problem with the idea if he actually was to win the award.  My...frustration is having been skipped over as a possible canidate to being perfect to be the one to moninate someone else?  Will making the nomination make me a canidate for the next time?

To top it off win or loose when it comes out that the guy has been nominated, I'm sure the supervisor who suggested this is probably going to very specific about letting it be known that I'm the one who "filled out" the nomination form....but conviently leaving out the fact that it was done so by his request. So win or lose it will make it seem like I am just the guy's BIGGEST fan/supportor.  Don't get me wrong I like the guy...he's fun to work with and a good guy.

Yes I know it's just a bruised ego thing ...but still - bruises hurt.

No worries I'm gettin gover it as I fill out the nomination form.

Sincerely,
Pharoah

In My Best Sophia Petrillo Voice...

Self,

"Picture it.......

Los Angeles 2012.


It's a pleasantly warm summer Friday afternoon. I'm at work hustling through the end of the day...eagerly anticipating the time for me to "clock out."

With little time to go for the designated hour, I get a call on my cell.

It's that call that everyone hates to get.

NO, [Rose,] there hasn't been a death in the family....thank the heavens.

... It's that other call everyone hates to get...it was my bank's security and fraud prevention department wanting to verify some suspicious activities on my ATM card....

......Basically informing me that I have been JACKED!

Sense the transactions were bogus, they were immediately cancelling the ATM card in my wallet and I have to see about getting a new one.

So it's Friday, the weekend is here the bank is closed for the evening, I have no cash, no ATM card.

What a way to start a weekend!
 
I have to say when I shared the financial fiasco with a few folks via text or in person, a few were willing to come to my rescue, and put their money where their mouths were.  I appreciate it.
 
Although I still a ways from being "made whole" again withthe bank...I am doing ok.
 
Sincerely,
Pharoah

More Ups & Downs from Memorial Weekend.

Self,

So I was in Phoenix for several days and the incident with the 5AMer was actually still pretty early in my visit and there were others guys I had planned to meet....both of these are platonic connections.

The first is an up situation. we have been chatting for a while and we simply conversed while stuffing our faces....no problems.  The guy, IC, seems cool and I think we will continue to build towards a good friendship.

The down....well is should have been an up...but it went wrong. I already have decided what I'm going to do but I'm just getting it off my chest.

So this guy, WG, we had talked years ago and reconnect a while back...I think even before I met KB...but there wasn't any romance talk because he is in a relationship...so was I at the time. And we mostly played "Word with Friends," Scramble with Friends," and "Hanging with Friends."  Nothing major.

So the Sunday of the holiday weekend we planned to meet initially at The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf....but I was getting hungry and suggest lunch. Then he says something about not being sure if he want's to tell his boyfriend about me because his boyfriend gets jealous easily.  I could care less if he tells the boyfriend or not so I am confused and text, "Well it's up to you....I doubt you plan to take me back to your plave to have hot sex on a platter so there's really nothing for him to be jealous about. but you know him best."

"Yeah he is crazy sometimes...and your moral values would prevent us from having hot sex on a platter."

I send, "My moral values or yours?" [Side bar...I'm a guy, I wasn't looking for sex, didn't really have any interest in sex with him....but I'm a guy...if you are going to offer than I'm going to be open to it...besides my feelings about it is that I can always say no at any time....even if you are standing in front of me naked with an erection...if I'm not feeling it then I'm not feeling it. So since he made the offer I'll see where it goes.]

"Ours, but if you want to come over tomorrow you can send the night. That would be better."

"So you don't want to meet today?"

"If you want a shot at sex tomorrow is better cuz he'll be home and I'll be at my place."

I send, "LOL oh so you want to have sex? Well we can postpone...but lunch today doesn't mean no sex tomorrow."

"LOL.  I told [the boyfriend] and he acting up so I told him you are heading back in the morning. I'll see you tomorrow night XXXX Streent name here."

The next day I try to get WG to set a time to meet because I was to also coordinate meeting with IC because where I was staying is like 30 miles outside the city I didn't want to meet IC then drive to My cousin's then turn around to drive back to Phoenix to meet up with WG. We set a time but then he flakes on meeting by saying the boyfriend is drunk and he wants to go home with him.   I understood and let it go.

So a couple days later I'm going about my business at home and get a text from WG saying hi and he sorry I didn't get the sex I was wanting in there in Phoenix.

I told him I was not looking for sex and that it was his suggestion and remind him that I said that we WEREN'T having sex so there was nothing for his boyfriend to be jealous about.
He then said he made the offer to go to his place as a test because he was curious about my motives..but sex didn't really cross his mind.

Then he gives me a load of crap about how he wish I respected relationships more but he respects me immensely for being honest about my willingness to mess with guys who are in relationships.  Then texts, " You values and mine are very different mine, You are moe selfish. There is an innocent party involved, someone who your moment of greediness and disrespect may directly -god forbid- or if the innocent one is lucky inadvertently affect.  The fact that your moral prism doesn't include that person in view is disconerting is all Im saying. It's short sighted, myopic and selfish to put it mildly."

Im floored at the audacity. I send back "Hmm that's really the pot callin the kettle black...the meer suggestion that YOU were willing to cheat on your relationship shows the same selfishness and disrepect for the innocent part. Which makes your accessment of my "moral compass" quite hypocritical."

"Not at all....blah blah blah...I don't expect that we'll agree on the matter at all because we dont come from the same moral upbringing-we dont have the same value system so I don't expect you to "get it" as it were, but I'm just expessing myself for the bery selfish motive of getting it off my chest. I don't expect to win you to my side whatsoever, your values are something you are content with and I respect it, but it informs me what access I can offer to my life."

"I feel you are back pedallin since I've told you how your test was flawed ...because it is crazy to think your boyfriend is going to be jealous of two friends meeting for lunch so raising that point was the initial problem because really it's a mute point.  However I'm tired of this game...u want to stand in judment...then so be it.  What I get is that u have a need to be self-righteous and feel that u are superior in some way....so you can have that too.  I don't want a friend who is going to try to judge me when he sets me up to fail. So we can keep the accest to each other like it is.  Sorry my attempt to get to know u better was just a game for you."

Then he says he agrees contact should be limited and the conversation should be more "surface" which I took to meanhe meant superficial and asked me if I heard any good music lately...

I intertained that for a bit...but really I wasn't interested in the convo anymore. 

Truth of the matter is that I think we have a different opinion of what "limited access" to each other will mean, I'm not sure what he think it means but suffice it to say...from this point on...for me the only access I'm allowing is the continued participation of the games of Scamble and Hanging with friends....something I do with random strangers anyway...and now I know he's nothing more than that.

Sincerely,
Pharoah

I'm Starting to Think I Should REALLY Just Choose Flies!

Self,

So I've been chatting with this dude online...for a week or so. We finally discuss trying to meet up last night...but I got held up doing my taxes and by 10pm it had gotten too late for him and he wanted to postpone until today.  OK...not a big deal.

So we texted earlier today trying to figure out when and where we would meet.  Last night we were going to meet at this little coffee house in LBC because it gave us a chance to talk.  So I suggested we meet there since we had already planned to do so anyway. Last night he had suggested the beach, but I vetoed it because it was cold and rainy...however I suggested it for today since it was day time and sunny.

He says he isn't feeling either of those today, but suggested a movie...specifically "Cabin in the Woods."
I told him I'm not really a horror/scary movie guy, but if there was something he wanted to see I'm down.  He suggested "Lockout" and we figure out a time and location..and I have like an hour and half to get ready.

So as I'm about to jump in shower, he sends a text; "r u buying my ticket"

In my head I'm like oh hell no!  However, I respond; "lol if I wasn't going who would buy your ticket?"

"I wouldn't go if you weren't going lol"  "Plus u made me change what movie I wanted to see originally lol"

WTF! "Lol then u shouldn't suggest I meet you @ a movie if you weren't planning to anyway!"  "the beach is free"

So I jump in the shower and stuff (yeah I really needed to do it anyway.)

So after I shower and get dress, I go out to the car.  I start the car and was going to send this guy a text letting him know I'm running a little late but on my way....and will still make it before the movie starts.

That's when I see he sent two texts (apparently while I was in the shower;)
"okay forget"  "the movie is cancel"

REALLY....  He was only going cuz he thought he could get over on me....I'm not the one!

I read him for it...told him it was fine and I would go by myself (one monkey don't stop this show) and told him if he suppose to be a grown man, he should be able to buy is own movie ticket.

I'm so over the local animals.

Sincerely
Pharoah

I Just Heard....

Self,

Well this morning on my way to work, I heard a news snippet that the R&B star, Sly Stone of the group Sly & the Family Stone, is currently destitute here in the Los Angeles area.  It's reported that he is living in a camper in the Crenshaw district, where a retired couple makes sure he eats atleast once a day and allow him the use of their shower.

My reason for posting initially was that I saw this as a tradgic example of people (ok and specificaly Black people) coming into a whole lot of money and not knowing how to properly handle it, which eventually leads to it being squander.  Helping to educate people on how to make better choices is why I am working in the financial industry.  It's my belief that we would do better, if we know better.

When I got to a computer I did a google search, really looking for a picture to use in my posting, but I found an article that I read in stead to get more info.  The article partially confirmed my suspicion, in so much as it was reported that Stone bought numerous, "toys" like cars and motorcyles.  Stone also states that his situation stems from drug addiction, and a problem with what sounds like corrupt management.

The article also annoyed me due to the fact that it's opening paragraph states that Stone isliving in "a rough Los Angeles neighborhood," and the second paragraph states that "parks his motor home in the Crenshaw section of L.A., the brutal neighborhood where the movie "Boyz n the Hood" was filmed."  Now I don't know if the movie reference is true or not, but either way it certainly paints the area with the images from the MOVIE and not neccesarily the full reality.  For all we know, he might be parking his camper in the pocket where there are homes worth upwards of a million dollars?   It certainly does not paint that community fairly as the Over-worked and Under paid citizens that live there.  I ain't saying that the place is paradise....but I don't think they should envoke the idea of hell on earth either.


Sincerely,
Pharoah

Twitter, bin Laden, Mendenhall, and Facebook - Oh My!

Self,

So I went to log into AOL and say a teaser about what an athlete had to say about Osama bin Laden on twitter.  Out of curiousity I clicked the link.

In short the article touched on how athletes in this case in particularly, Rashard Mendenhall of the Steelers, need to be careful about what they say in public (or in this case social networking sites) and how technology has advance beyond or protocals and (maybe in some cases common sense.)

Here is the article: Mendenhall

I'm quoting from the article that Mendenhall tweeted:

“What kind of person celebrates death? It’s amazing how people can HATE a man they have never even heard speak. We’ve only heard one side.”

The article talks about the backlash he got for that, how the Steeler's owner had to cover himself and the franchise's ass....blah blah blah.

I got to the end of the article and the first comment called Mendenhall a "dumb jock" and a lot of the following comments chimed in that sentiment or spoke his right to freedom of speech rather individuals agree with him or not. 

Well I was frankly a little pissed off, because I understand what the man was trying to suggest with is comment.  So I started to write a comment of my own to come to his defense (not because I'm a big fan....I had never heard of him until I read the article,) but because people are just soooo stupid.

So this was the comment I wrote;

Why does Mendenhall have to be dumb just because he's an athlete?  If some of you all were as smart as you thought you were, then you would have been intelligent enough to deduce what he was trying to say (and see he might actually be smarter than yourselves.) Basically I would guess that he's a government conspiracy theorist.  And that his comment suggest that MAYBE the events of 9/11 had some assistance from the President of that day.  (I mean, it is a little far fetch to think it was just a coincidence that after 9 months in office while the public was disputing his "victory" in the election that a national tragedy occured and all disagreements went silent? Oops, that might be too much for some of you all to grasps.)  Mendenhall's real mistake was not fully articulating his thought which left it open to the asinine interpretations of the imbeciles within the general public and media...and their negative feedback.

So I hit the "Leave comment" button and a new window opens up that says to "Log into Facebook" to leave a comment.

Damn, the devil thwarts me again.  LOL.  I am half tempted to create a Facebook account just to be able to refute the idiots that are on it.

Sincerely,
Pharoah

From the Window to the Wall?

Self,

So as recently I've been hearing from some guys from an online profile I have. Most of the conversations have been online...some have progressed to more personal communications.

I've been chatting with this one kat lol for maybe a week...if that. He asked me to spend a my weekend as a volunteer in some capacity at the Long Beach Grand Prix, with the incentive that I would get to spend time with him.  (although we haven't even met yet.)  Not a bad I idea but I wasn't about to tie-up my whole weekend on someone I hardly know on short notice.  However he explained that the event isn't until mid April and I told him I'll think about it.

Today though he sent me a message about having some dream about me where the cops came to our house for some domestic dispute where he went to jail and I ended up in the hospital (he don't know that he would be dead and I'll be in jail, but anyway). And when I recovered I realized how much I just loveded him and we made wild hot angry make up sex.  And then he wanted to know how to make it a reality.  Ok I'll give him a few points for some refreshing originality, so I told him it can't ever be a reality if he doesn't start by asking me out.

SO he asked me to meet him with some of his boys at a club and that it going to be a hetero club because he don't roll like that.  and once we get a bit acquainted we can leave to go somewhere else.

OKAY, no I'm not a fan of meeting in a club (gay or straight) because it is usually load as fuck.  How are you suppose to "get acquainted" in a place where you can't hear yourself think?  Then you going to add into the mix that your boyz don't know that you are into dating men, so you aren't going to actually speak about yourself freely....this is your recipe for getting to know each other?  REALLY?

I'll entertain the idea since it is suppose to be more of a professional networking event....so even if he ain't intriguing or engaging, maybe I can make some contact for my business and it wont be a waste.

Sincerely,
Pharoah

Rude

Self,

I know that one thing that makes this country extremely unique is the fact that it is very divers. There are people from all over the world and speak a multitude of languages. And no where is that more evident than here in Los Angeles, and other major cities. I say that because in a way I do appreciate that fact but sometimes bilingual folks can piss me off.

So a couple days ago I was at work chatting with a coworker who I'll call Night because he works the night shift. So while I was talking to Night at his cubicle another company employee, who I'll call Manilla for the capital of his home country, came over and interrupted us. Now the conversation wasn't serious or important so that wasn't what I was upset about.

What pissed me off was that Manilla interrupted the conversation by speaking to Night in Tagalog, the language of their shared home country. This became like a 3 minute conversation between them. It's pretty obvious that I don't speak Tagalog (yes I know a few cuss words.) I found it extremely rude to basically dismiss me from the conversation by not speaking in English, the native (if not official) language of this country. I know Manilla speaks English because it's a requirement of our job. To Night's credit he gave all his responses to Manilla in English so I slightly was able to follow the thread of their dialog, despite the fact that Manilla continued to speak Tagalog.

As I stood there feeling annoyed and contemplating to say something about it I became very frustrated because it occured to me that doing so may have caused problems for me. I realized that with all of our civil liberties and the diversity tolerance policies to protect those liberties, that if I said something about Manilla speaking Tagalog and not English, I would have came off as some kind of racist.

And as I continued to think about the situation through out the day, I realized this wasn't the first time that I've witnessed something like this either at my expense like this or at the espense of others. The language can be Tagalog, Spanish, Chinese, Arabic, French or a whole range of others.

Maybe It wouldn't have been so bad if Manilla had started in English saying, "excuse me" before blurting out in Tagalog.

Did us native speakers give up our respect by trying to be respectful of others.

Did we become our own second-class citizens by allowing foreigners to earn their citizenship?

When did I miss that memo?

Sincerely,

Pharaoh

Gay Attire?

Self,

Last night I came across a website that sold T'shirts. The thing that stood out about the site is all the shirts were geared towards a specific market - homosexuals....and I would say mostly gay men. The shirts displayed things like;

Certified Top/bottom

Diva/Divo

I [heart] Boys/Tops/Bottoms

Got Cakes/Trade?

Label Whore

Vogue

Active Top/Bottom/Versatile

It Boy/Girl

Been There Done Him

There's others. I just mentioned a few here. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I'm curious to hear others' thoughts about it.

Sincerely,

Pharaoh

PS I'm not mentioning the url for the site because I'm not giving free advertising, particularly before I decide if I like the idea or not.

The Worst Week

Self,

I don't know what is going on and why crap seem to happen to me.

So the week started with the notion that the Department head was going to be doing some restructuring and that someone from my section would be reassigned, (yes it's a blessing that they weren't talking lay-off.) And another small blessing is that I wasn't the one that got reassigned.

On top of that I had to give up my regular Monday off to accommodate the fact that I was sent a Jury Summons. Ok so giving up my day off sucks but I can handle it.

Jury duty was suppose to consisted of calling a 800 number for a week, I actually got called into the courthouse. SO if you are called in to the courthouse, the policy is you have to serve either 1 day or 1 case which could be 5-7 days. The first time a judge asks for a jury panel for a case that day of course my name gets called. But of course it can't be a simple case. This case is suppose to last 30 days, but the actually jury selection won't begin until Oct 6th. And I am now stuck in limbo, and possibly may loose several more of my days off if I the attorneys don't settle out of court before the 6th.

Then there's my father who for lack of a better way of putting seems like he is just being a hypocritical jerk. The other day I was watching something that was on the DVR. Normally I fast forward through the commercials that's the benefit of watching a recording after the show has aired. So this particular commercial break I let the commercials play while I go take a piss. before I can get back into the family room to go back to the show my father is fussing about walking off leaving the TV blaring. Now this is the same man who usually have the tv so loud that people have to shout like they are in a bar to have a conversation; the same man who walks away the TV like I did nearly 20 times a day; and the same man who nearly suffers from Attention Deficit Disorder and will leave the TV blasting to go shoot pool out in the garage. However I did it and it was like I committed treason.

I need a vacation! I think I may take a trip to the Caribbean or something....I'm not really one to go to places where I don't know anyone or I have never been before, by myself...but maybe I need to now.

Sincerely,

Pharaoh

Stupid things

Self,

Maybe I'm a little late, but I have to say something anyway.

I'm sure by now most people have heard about the mother who video recorded her two year old daughter smoking a blunt then forwarded the video to friends which is now on YouTube.

See I think this is an example of how Weed smokers are some of the STUPIDEST people on the planet. How can a grown rational person think that it's appropriate, funny or cute, to let a two year old child smoke weed? How can a grown rational person think that is is even acceptable to smoke weed in the same room or house with a two year old child? And above all else why would a mother think it was acceptable to do any of that to her own child? I don't care how "natural" weed is suppose to be, it is a substance that should not be around a child. This stupid heffa might as well had filled the child's milk bottle with chloride, ammonia or lead (all of which are naturally occurring compounds) and let the child drink it. But weed-heads are too stupid to think like that...but its the same damn thing.

Yes, I can hear the weed-heads arguing that what she did is not something they would do, maybe that is true. However I imagine that they have done other things while high that they wish they were thinking clear and had avoided doing. So it's the same level of stupidity just applied differently.

It's sad.

Sincerely,

Pharaoh

Get a Grip Folks

Self,

There two things that I heard about that just makes me shake my head at the idiocy of folks.

I got here to work and went on to the AOL homepage and a news headline caught my eye. It was a brief article about this "Barefoot Bandit" that was apprehended over the weekend in the Bahamas. Apparently this 19 year old boy is responsible for hundreds burglaries, the theft of several airplanes and a yacht. He has been on the run for over two years! The part that is disturbing is that in the ongoing war between stupidity and intelligence/common & moral sense, this is a victory for stupidity. This boy's shenanigans has caused him to have a huge internet following on sites like Facebook, some reporting to have over 100,000 members. Proof again, Facebook is the devil.

The other thing that worked my nerves over the weekend was the LeBron James and Cavaliers fiasco. I mean...Really? I can understand everyone being upset that the man decided to try his luck with a different team, in so much as they being disappointed that they are loosing a good player, but for "fans" to burn jerseys and all that is just pathetic. I mean it's as if these peoples self-worth are wrapped up in these Companies. Please believe that that is exactly what the sport franchises are, CORPORATIONS. The only "team" are the guys that are on the court, but everything that happens in the head office is all business.

The fact that everything in the head office is a matter of business, makes Dan Gilbert's, the Cavaliers' owner, reaction most idiotic and asinine of all. Of course, James' decision to play on the Miami Heat was "selfish," it is HIS FREAKIN' CAREER. If Gilbert was being offered $2.5 billion dollars for the Cavaliers to move from Cleveland to Tulsa, Oklahoma, he would not give a crap about fan and the residents of Cleveland or the rest of Ohio for that matter, because he would be doing what he thought was in the best interest for him and his career/business. So for him to hold it against James for doing the same thing is just stupid. At the same time, in say 10 years when James is a little bit older and a maybe little bit slower or possibly injured, Gilbert probably wouldn't even consider James' "loyalty" to the team, if there was an opportunity for him to trade James to some other team for some new hot young player(s). On top of that, James would most likely, hear about him (and his family) being uprooted to another city in a freakin' press conference with the rest of the world, and not from a personal conversation with Gilbert.

I need sport fans to come back to the real world and remember that LeBron James is no different from them in the sense that James is simply an employee of Cleveland Cavaliers, INC. (Reality dose y'all, this goes for any player on any sports team.) James didn't do anything wrong by exercising his right to discontinue employment at one job to start at a new one. It would be no different than an employee leaving Microsoft for Apple; Panasonic for Sony; Disney for Universal; Warner Brothers for MGM, Arista for Hidden Beach or hell McDonald's for Burger King. Stop your crying. Get over it.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

P.S. I think the most accurate description of Gilbert's reaction to James deciding to go to Miami comes from Rev. Jesse Jackson. This is copied from an article I came across online this morning;

"He speaks as an owner of LeBron and not the owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers," the reverend said in a release from his Chicago-based civil rights group, the Rainbow PUSH Coalition. "His feelings of betrayal personify a slave master mentality. He
sees LeBron as a runaway slave."

Really?

Self,

So, I know I have mentioned that I tend to send a text shout out to folks...and that some time it's just "Morning" but that every once in a while I try to come up with something different to see what type of responses I'll get.

So on Wednesday I sent one of my special messages;

"What a glorious morning."

The responses that came back,

"Tru dat"

"Amen, It is"

"fag"

Obviously, that last one caused me to raise an eyebrow. I mean I didn't really take it personally, but in contrast to my initial message and the first two responses that I received, it was so drenched in negativity that it was venomous, a poison apple if you will. I wanted to ask the "wicked witch" why he would send such a message, but honestly I was in such a good mood of my own that I didn't want to take on his negativity. I don't know if he was just having a bad day or what. Hopefully things have improved for him.

Sincerely,

Pharaoh

Madness

Self,

I know I'm gay....and I know many would assume that watching good looking men display athletic prowness and getting sweaty, to be a given pasttime for gay men.

However, I think the fanticism that people have toward sports is just madness. I'm at my parents house it's Game 2 of the NBA Finals (Lakers v. Celtics) and this house has come to a stand still except for me. There's all kinds of things to get done around here. My brother left his room in a mess. My mom hasn't finished some of the things that I need her to do in order for me to finish moving in to my "new" bedroom but all eyes are glued to the big flat screen TV in the family room. Chips and dips have been placed on the table and comfortable seats are being warmed by various glutius maximi (not sure of the plural.)

I mean let the Lakers (the household favorites) send me a check for the hours spent watching them....then it might make sense to me....but otherwise I don't get stopping in your tracks to watch...maybe it's just boring to me.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

M.A.L.E.

Self,

I just learned that a blog that I am a contributing writer on has been deleted. What's even more disturbing is that its founder, my friend Duke Darktomahawk (Double D), was not the person that deleted it. Apparently Blogger deleted it due to a complaint. Blogger said that they warned him of the complaints/violations, however Double D says that he was just as shocked to find that his blog was deleted, because he did not receive any notifications. NOw part of Double D's problem is that he has yet to have any communication from Blogger. According to him he still does not know what "violation" he committed, he did not have a chance to contest the claim that he had violated Blogger's terms of usage and he doesn't have a means to contact Blogger to find out how he can fix the situation to have M.A.L.E. restored.

So the idea that M.A.L.E. was deleted with out warning and Double D is accused is a bit well fearful. From what I can tell someone simply said that M.A.L.E. was in violations and Blogger's response was simply to take that person(s) at their word and punish Double D and M.A.L.E. by removing the site. What that says about Blogger is that anyone can have a personal vendetta against a blog author and Blogger will take the side of the vendetta. The strange thing about the situation is what could have been so offensive to a person to warrant reporting M.A.L.E. to blogger. I mean as many people who have blogs that include pictures and videos of actors, sports figures, musicians, models etc the violation can't be copyright related. And as many blogs as I've seen (and frequent) that show full frontal nudity and/or describe the author's personal sexual escapades, sexually explicit content can't be the reason that M.AL.E. was deleted particularly, since that was recently and whole heartedly banded from the site. So all that does is makes me wonder if any person's blog safe?

I choose to write about the things that happen to me in my life and the things that I notice around me as I live my life. Others choose to focus their blogs the things they like, rather that be sex, celebrities, politics, religion or a plethora of other topics, I don't think a person should be able to say I have a problem with any particular blog and Blogger deletes it.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

PS: Double D isn't going to let the "haterz" hold hime down M.A.L.E. will be up and running again as soon as possible.

Something to Make You Say Hmm!

Self,

I was having a conversation with a friend who had a difficult experience this weekend, that raised an issue that I wanted to address here. I'll do my best to keep this short.

(Remember all names are fictitious to protect the identities of those actually involved.)

My friend, Bob, had a date Saturday evening. His date, Ricky, invited Bob over to his home to watch the Pacquiao vs Cotto fight. Supposedly it was initially suppose to just be the two of them but Ricky's brother and a few others also were in attendance. (some what expected when your talking about a Pay-per-view event, anyway.)

So after the fight, everyone leaves and its just Bob and Ricky. They are talking, Bob says it was pretty easy to tell that they were into each other. Ricky offers Bob a cocktail beverage and eventually things get a little sexual. Ricky has Bob follow him to the bedroom and they continue "foolin' around."

As it was told to me, Bob couldn't get an erection, and Ricky...tells Bob that's it's getting late and reminds Bob that he still has to drive home. Ricky then starts picking through the assorted clothes on the floor, handing Bob's to him.

Bob leaves and calls me from the car...crushed and demoralized by the incident. I do what I can to cheer him up. Telling him its Ricky's lost, that the malfunction happens to guys and he isn't the only one. He lets me know its not the first time it has happened and guys all seem to have a similar reaction....in short that run. I talk with Bob till he gets home and lets him go to sleep.

We continue the conversation today and Bob now feels that there's no point to dating or love because he is convinced that he will be single for the rest of his life. He doesn't think he'll ever hear from Ricky, based on the fact that he sent Ricky a text message today that has not been returned when before Ricky was pretty quick to return them before.

The conversation leads to uplifting Bob into understanding that he is more than his penis and what it does or doesn't do. Bob ain't having it. He argues that even though we know logically he is more than his penis he knows that when it comes to gay men....that basically rather consciously or subconsciously, if the sex ain't right they aren't going to take the time to find out what more he can offer.

And I really didn't have a counter argument to offer him. I mean even women has that on their "checklist" when dealing with a man as a potential suitor.

So my question to my readers, (particularly the gay men....) What would you do if YOU were Ricky? At least in so much as you met someone like Bob who you seemed to be attracted towards but when it came down to sex (yes on your first date) he could not get an erection? Would you effectively put Bob out cause the sex wasn't right, or would you continue trying to get to know Bob to see beyond the sex?

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Just Speaking my Mind

Self,

I've made mention of the fact that I browse other blogs when I have time, who doesn't, right? I'm not here just to share the wisdom and knowledge of the ages, but to also learn from my contemporaries. And what I think I love about the blogger's world is that for the most part this is a place made entirely of pure thought, it's almost like communicating telepathically. (Sidebar: Does anyone think humanity will ever evolve to have that ability?) I'm not going Sci-Fi on you, but just making an analogy.

Reading and writing means being able to express and understand each other without the benefits of tone, inflection, pitch, facial expressions, body language, rhythm, cadence, and even time.* To do it successfully takes some skill and practice. Hell it is basically an artform.** Those who do it..well, should take pride in it, those who don't simply may want to work on it.

I say that because I want to stress the importance of what following a blog and taking the time to comment on a blog, means to me. The significance is the same rather I'm referring to those supporters who follow and comment on mine or the blogs that I choose to follow and/or leave comments. I thank those who have chosen to become a follower of my page. I also hope that my statement indicates the importance of communication for me.

So when I say this it comes from that space, but I know that the following may come off as a little smug or snooty. Forgive me, but I am Pharaoh, did you expect anything less - LOL? That said my smugness about communication has led me to realize that I have certain pet-peeves with some members of the blog world. Don't get me wrong I'm not pointing at any particular individuals, but just certain types of people within the blogging community.

There's only two main issue I have:

The first is the idea of anonymous comments and the people that leave them. I personally do not allow comments to be left anonymously here. NY Suitor asked why I didn't allow it, (I think if I did, he would leave comments. But since I don't, he doesn't.) I believe my answer at the time was that it was for security in so much as people didn't feel they could get away with saying all sort of wild and crazy bullsh*t. However I realize that it's more than that alone. Simply put, I think its a matter of believing that people should be accountable for the things that they say. If a person feels that they have a thought or idea that they feel is worth sharing, then they should be willing to OWN that thought or statement. If you aren't willing to put your trademark on it, then is it really important to you? I mean isn't that what patents and copyrights are about folks saying "this was my idea, I own it (and I should be the one to profit from it.)" Well there's not really any profit to be made here, but that doesn't mean disownership should take place either.

My second issue with some Bloggers is that I really find myself annoyed when I come across pages that when I try to leave a comment, instead of seeing what I wrote I see a message saying that my comment is waiting for approval by the owner. Lol, that just cracks my hide, call it my smugness again, but if I want to say something, I don't think I need the owners censorship to validate my comment as appropriate or not. I mean are these people's ego so fragile that they can't take the possibility of being criticize and contradicted? If that's the case, why have a public blog on the internet, wouldn't it be better to go to Barnes and Nobles, spend $15-$30 on this thing called a journal. You know they have some that are really quite lovely. They come either tall or short, lined or unlined, most have beautiful covers: rather religious/spiritual, whimsical/comical, or simply artistic. Some even have locks! You can use one of those and never worry about anyone else reading it and disagreeing with its contents. I mean maybe it's selfish but if I decide to leave a comment then it's cause I think I'm saying something that I want other's to hear. It irks me to think that it may not happen. If there's a chance that other's may not read my comment because you as the owner don't like it, then what's the incentive for me to leave a comment.

My page has never been set up to require my approval before someone's comment appears on the page. I have had someone tell me after reading something I wrote that they didn't like, sayto me that they wouldn't leave a comment contradicting me or "telling [his] side of the story" because he "knew" I would just delete it so nobody could read it. SO untrue, quite frankly I don't know if I could delete other people's comment from my page. I haven't tried. I know that I can delete my own, but that's about it. I really don't have the desire to erase someone's comment. I'm simply more likely to opt to counter-comment to you, then simply erase it. As a place of thought then for me each post and subsequent comment creates a chain and to delete a comment would be removing a link in that chain. The chain is strong if it's intact. We all will learn more from the cumulative chain of knowledge than from our isolated individual links.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

* I've been told that I'm to analytical and "too in my head" at times so I feel it necessary to acknowledge and mention the fact that I recognize the fact that the lack of those things could also leave a large margin for miscommunications.

** For the record, this doesn't necessarily mean having and using "big words." But at times an extensive vocabulary does help.

Beauty is Only Skin Deep...

Self,

Or in this case it's stucco deep - supposedly. Yesterday I read news blurb about the beauty to the right. For those who don't recognize the Famous bust of Queen Nefertiti (and possibly a pharaoh in her own right.) Anyway recently a company did an scan of the bust and determined the image of the stone sculpture underneath the stucco exterior that we see in the picture.

The following picture is a rendering of that scan and in the thrid frame there's an small arrow pointing to a bump in the nose on the stone sculpture. Of course historians are speculating that the stone is basically an actual rendering of the Queen's true appearance. Thus making the bump an imperfection in the Queen's beauty and that it was demanded to be corrected, which is why the stucco was applied.

As a observer of humans and a wanna-be artist, I know people make mistakes. So couldn't it be a possibility that this bust was presenting to the Queen and Pharaoh as we see it today, the artist made an error in carving and simply corrected his own mistake by the application of the stucco, without bringing it to the Queens attention? My other question why does it have to be some kind of conspiracy. This is art and someone's job, maybe the stucco was already part of the design and a step in the process to the finished piece, like "photo-shopping" by graphic artists of those high price magazine pictures and commercials?


The thing that bother's me most is that the artistry and craftmanship of the piece is almost ignored in the article. The "bump" aside look at the jaw line, the eyes, the lips, the ear. I mean for all intent and purpose I think I if I saw this woman walking down teh street I would be like "damn girl, you look good, - Ain't you Titi from 190th street?" And for some reason I feel that the scan was conducted to demenish that craftmanship. As if someone said "That's work is too good, there has to be something wrong with it." Hello this Fierce Diva has been staring out at the world for over 3000 years. How likey will any of the graphic art and digitized photos that are produced today be able to say the same thing, for that matter will we be able to say the same for Mona?

So Titi, girl, I love that you are Black, and who cares if they now want to say you might even been ugly, Bitch you still here! and that's Amazing and worth a great deal of praise and admiration.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh