What to Do?

Self,

So......KB is moving next month.  LOL, NO he is not moving away.  It's just that his lease is up and he's looking to move to a place with a lower rent so he can save more towards buying a house.  Last night he found a place that he is pretty sure he wants.  So he asked me to meet him there today to see the place before he signs the rental agreement.

I'm kinda hesitant to go.  I know it sounds ...almost crazy...but I'm not sure if I should have any influence on this decision.  The place sounds great....it's a 1 bedroom/1 bath townhouse in Sherman Oaks....this is like 10 miles closer than where he currently lives.  He expects there to be about a $400 saving every month....and this place has a pool (something that's missing from his current residence) along with underground parking.  On the other hand, he saw a place that is about a mile farther from his current place that would offer a $600 per month savings also 1bd/1bth witha pool but gated open-air parking, which troubled him due to his recent purchase of a Mercedes.

I mean I'm not the one moving in so I guess I don't feel like I should have a say in the decision.  But I'm pretty sure I'll meet him after work.

Sincerely,
Pharoah

This ANNOYS the Hell Out of Me.

Self,

Yes this is something that seems to almost boil my blood. 

It really works my last nerves when people accuse me of being out of touch, unavailable, indisposed unreachable or any other word like that, when their number has not appeared on my caller id once!

Maintaining the friendships with these people is not my responsibility alone.  Last I checked it takes two individuals to have a friendship.  I understand we have lives that are seperate from the other, and just because we haven't talked in a bit doesn't mean that I've suddenly abandoned the friendship.  Honestly, my feeling is who ever has the time to realize that they haven't heard from the other, also has the time to reach out and touch someone!  It's not that hard for you to call or text.  I mean, no, it may not be as easy as just sitting on your ass waiting to hear from me and complaining because you haven't...but it is easy.

Do you know what really drives me crazy?  I mean like... CRAZY!  What really seems to work my last nerves is the "since you got a man, nobody can get in touch with you."  As far as I know, KB isn't a CIA spy with cell phone jamming technology nor is he Harry Potter that has magical charms around his place to prevents your call from reaching my phone when you want to talk to me.  I mean to me it's so assinine to me that I want to cuss people out when that kind of BS comes out their mouth.  Oh why yes, (said in blonde southern belle accent) I know the difference between someone being serious or joking, so please don't make it worse and insult my intelligence by saying "I'm just joking" when I check you on the fact that you haven't called me and therefore don't really have the right to complain.

I don't get why people trip on someone developing a relationship.  The people that are complaining about me being out of reach without calling weren't calling me when I was sitting at home watching TV alone. And the ones that did call then......call now.  I have not become some hermit ...well not any more than I already was.  My real friends know my general rule.  When you need/want to call me....call.  If I'm able to answer, I do.  if I can't, then leave a message but most likely...all it takes is for me to see the "missed call" and I'll call you back.  However, when I answer, I'll find out what's going on and the reason for the call. (ie, they have a question, want to make plans to hang out, shoot the breeze, or want some advice about a situation in their life.)  At the same time I try to tell them what's going on with me at that moment, (ie I'm going into a meeting, I'm sitting in front of the tv, I'm out at dinner, I'm doing some shopping.)  And at that point we make a judgement call....can this conversation continue or does it need to be postponed.

I'm usually very flexible and accomadating, and take the call.  Even if cause problems for me.  Like yesterday, I was in the middle of moving furniture with my mom and I got a call. Someone wanted some advice on a situation envolving another person. So they tell me the circumstances and as I'm responding, my mom starts fussing at me for being on the phone when we are working and I'm holding other people up.  It's not the caller fault and I don't hold it against him, I told him what I thought about the situation, he thanked me and I told him I had to go. Not a problem.    
The Point. Yes, I am Pharoah, divine in all my splendor, and borrowing a line from Ms. Scott "I'm the magnificent"...but I AIN'T Miss Cleo! How am I suppose to know that as a friend you are missing me....UNLESS YOU CALL AND TELL ME!

Sincerely,
Pharoah

Mistake has been made.

Self,

So earlier this week I think put myself in a compromising position with KB and I'm not sure what my next step should be.

I spent the whole Fourth of July weekend with KB, his best friend and her girlfriend.  It just happened that Schehimazade was going to come to LA on the Fourth and due to his, mine and KB's schedules that was going to be the only night that we could get together.  So we agreed that I would pick Schehimazade at the airport, we would go out to KB's place to hang out for a while and then I would take Schechimazade to his mom's in Long Beach, before I went home.

All was good until I got to LAX and went to meet Schehimazade at the baggage claim.  I get there and he is chatting with the sexy man.  He introduced us to each other and we all talked while they were waiting for their luggage.  They claim their bags and we walk out to the curb, Schehimazade and S@L (short for Sexy at LAX) exchange numbers then Schehimazade and I walk towards my car and leave S@L where he stood as he waited for his ride.
 
Now the whole time I was there I assumed they already new each other...like this may have been a coworker until they exchanged numbers.  So the minute Schehimazade and I are alone, of course, I comment on how sexy I think S@L is and ask how they knew each other....and come to find out that they had just met there at baggage claim, although Schehimazade had seen him at the airport in Vegas before getting on the flight.

I'm not sure what came over me but I had Schehimazade call S@L to find out if his ride had arrived. It turned out that S@L was just going to take the SuperShuttle home and we were going to pass by the area he lived on our way to KB's place.....so we offered him a ride home.

When we arrived at S@L's place he invited us inside for a drink.  I know we should have declined and kept on our way to KB's.  But for some reason I agreed to go in thinking another 15-20 minutes wouldn't be a big deal and I texted KB that we were caught in some traffic.   I know....I know  =(

There was some truth to that in that we did actually run in to some traffic on the way to S@L. Well, although it wasn't intentional...my supposed 20 minute "layover" got extended.  We didn't get to to KB's until well after midnight...nearly 3 hours after Schehimazade's plane landed.

So I don't know if I should come clean with KB and tell him that the traffic wasn't the real cause of our delay that night but rather the detour, or should I just keep my mouth shut and stick the the traffic story?

Sincerely,
Pharoah

Suprises

Self,

So I have been really loving this song...and KB has been feeling it too. We both are big Jill Scott fans. So I thought about surprising him with tickets for us to go when she comes to LA in August.

I've been conteplating this idea for a little over a week, not sure if I really wanted to surprise him or just ask him if wants to go. A few days ago while my parents were visiting family in Arizona, my father calls me all EXCITED from having seen Miss Scott's performance on the BET Awards, and is NOW an absolute fan. He then surprises me saying that I must let him know the next time she is in town because he wants to go see her live.

I'm in awe. I let slip that she will be here in August and that I was thinking about going with a friend. My father actually fixed his lips to say to buy 4 tickets then and tell him how much he owes for his and my mom's tickets!


I haven't bought any yet, but I don't know if I'm ready for KB to meet my parents...not to mention having my parents sitting next to us TOTALLY changes the dynamic of "date" for me and KB.


I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

Sincerely,
Pharoah

PS. It was suggested that I get two pairs of tickets; ie one for me and KB and then another on the other side of the venue for my parents!

It Must Be Me???

Self,

So KB and I have been seeing each other for 2 months now. And I really enjoy his company, I like spending time with him......yeah there's a "but" coming. But I'm not sure what's going on between us.
Ok the other night I was on the phone having a conversation with BabyBro-Prime and we talked about of things but part of that conversation involved the discussion of the trap some of us (people...gay or straight) fall into where our inherrant desire/need for physical contact/intimacy can cloud our judgement into thinking that a situation has more romantic overtones than they really do.

And sadly I suddenly wonder if that has unexpectedly happen to me. I mean I really enjoy KB's company and spending time with him. He's affectionate, thoughtful and romantic....did I mention that one day when I got to his place, he had flowers and cards waiting for me. He and I have spent every weekend together since to day we met, and I've enjoyed every minute. However, not too long ago KB wondered if I was really feeling him or if we were just "playing around" because he didn't understand why didn't hang out during the middle of the week a lot, or why we were not the last voice the other heard before going to bed every night. OMG, I would like to be that giddy about things between us, but I kind of feel it's overkill and that it seems a bit clingy and needy and dare I say it....obligatory and oppressive. However, we been trying it and he seems to sit at home waiting for me to call and when I don't, I get a "why didn't I hear from my man?"

Sadly to top that off, during some of those "end of the night calls," I had found myself tuning KB out because I was bored. He even called me out on it a couple times and I did what I had to to assure him that wasn't the case.

I'm starting to wonder if I've been single so long because it turns out I'm a horrible boyfriend and I just didn't know it.

I'm stuck on this one.

Sincerely,
Pharoah