Strap It Up and Strap It On!?

Self,

So I don't know what I'm doing that is attracting this...array of people.

Last night on one of those social media phone apps....I got hit up by a WOMAN...no I don't mean a fem gay man....I mean a W-O-M-A-N who wants to meet a man that would be willing to let her F*ck him using a strap on dildo.

I don't know what made her think I would be open to it.  When she asked me about rather I would be open to it...because the conversation started with the game backgammon, I told her I didn't know cause I never thought about it.  I asked her why don't she do it with a nother woman...and she said he not attracted to women that way....go figure.

I feel like I am sending out a "bat-signal" into the universe that reads something like the plaque on the statue of liberty...."send me your inexperienced, horny, freaky huddled masses...."

I have had a number of virgins approach me ...some wanting me to be their first.  Did I mention the kid that asked if I knew any other tops/vers guys...and if I could host a group? 

Man, if I were to ever let my internal sex beast cut loose....I would either shrivel up from all the semen I would have to produce to keep up....or would simply drown from it!

Sincerely,

Pharoah

PS...Dammit when I put it that way....it's kinda a turn on!  That is cutting the beast loose, not the strap on.

A Summer Blast

Self,

For the past two weeks I have been working at the satelite office in Van Nuys rather than the main office in Glendale.  And not too long ago an met this guy who lives about a mile away from the Van Nuys office.   He's 28, 5'7 about 175 pounds, decent body brown skin....and seems like a sweetheart.

So in short we have hooked up a few times while I was in the area....mostly quickies while I was on my lunch break.....the session have been....enjoyable to say the least.  Friday September 7th was the end of my shift at the Van Nuys and it worked out that we were able to meet up after work and not be quite as rushed.

OK so for me I enjoy witnessing/expereincing the person I'm with climax....(yes I like to get mine too, but my partner's is often the catalyst) and his have been good.  But on friday....OMG!  On Friday he.....

He was bucking and jerking so hard that I was a little worried that me might be having a seizure.....this happened twice in the 3 hours I was there....there was an hour nap in between though.  I thought it was so HOT!   I was already feeling bad that he lived so far and out the way that I probably wouldn't see him again for a while....although after those seizure like explosions I was considering the possibility of making a special trip to the valley to "hang out" with him.  THEN as I'm getting dress to head out he tells me he is moving.....even further into the valley to Encino...almost as far as where KB lived/lives.  I'm like AH FUCK! 

I really have no desire to make that drive....however it's not like we are dating or plan to ...so it not like I will be going up there all the time...but still that's far!  So I don't know if I should just let the connection fade or what....thoughts, suggestions???

Sincerely,

Pharoah

Would You Ever??? (PRIVATE: NSFW)

Self,
Let me start off by letting you this is NOT SAFE FOR WORK., for chil'ren unless you want to do some 'splainin', or anyone else you don't want all up in your "PRIVATE" business. You heard?

So the day that I went to the Playboy Jazzfestival...was a day of many things.  As I had mentioned I was late getting to the Hollywood Bowl...for a number of reason...but this was part of the reason.....

 Well ok my experience with the 2012 World Naked Bike Riders wasn't quite like the first picture (although I do like the REAR-END on the biker with the black and red bag.) This second picture is more like (actually almost exactly) what I saw.....SLOWING me the FUCK DOWN as I was trying to get to the concert. Between the slow ASS bikers and the drivers slowing down to get a peek, maybe even a PEAK, and pictures I think they added an extra 30 minutes to my travel time because I got caught in a bottleneck BEHIND them.

Now I had intended to write about this right after it happend....BUTT tother things got in the way.  On one hand I guess it's not a bad thing that I'm a little slow because it gave me a chance to find pictures to share....lol and comment on.  When I did the google search, I read some of the articles that went with the pictures and found out that the World Naked Bike Ride is a movement that promotes being eco-friendly.  The main idea behind the movement is to reduce the use of automobiles...and the nudity is just to get your attention to bring awareness to their cause....(Sex sells...even when there's nothing to buy.  I mean here it is a month later after I saw them and they are still crossing my mind due to the nudity, right?)

Let me say that these are not my pictures of the event I happen to do a google search for "nude bike riders" and the links led me to these pictures.  in truth I didn't see a whole lot of the nudity in my travels that day.  I mean yes I saw enough exposed skin to say "OH shit, they're naked" .....then  it was very much "I wish they would get they naked asses out my mutha fuckin way." 

LMAO.  Anyway here are some pics that I found and...well caught my eye!

These first two I just thought were funny and creative uses of body paint.

Come on you got to admit "The Cat in the Hat" and "The Grinch" is funny.  Is it me or does his hat seem to resemble a condom?  Well I guess you could also say it is also suggestive of a phallus.....no?  I wonder how much did they each have to spend to get that much body paint?  And who applied it for them?  (I am not assuming that they are together, although the common theme of Dr. Seuss' characters may highly suggest the likelihood of there being some cooridination on their part. But that said, it doesn't mean that they would have been comfortable as two men touching each other's naked bodies, to apply the body paint.)

So I like the idea of a basketball player. and on a unicycle....that alone I'm sure made him stand out in the crowd. I so totally was buy him as Larry Bird....with the blond hair and the green and white for the Celtics.....then I read the "Seattle 15" and was confused....lol and wondered if he was too. 

Now can we talk about the positioning of his "twig and berries."  Is it me or does it looks like that hurts a bit, or at the minimum is a bit uncomfortable?  I mean they do look as if they are being smashed.  Question; so did he have to seperate his balls to each side of his penis as he sat on the seat or is that just a coincidence?

I'm sorry I just have to confess that I think the implication of the writing "GO GREEN" equates to going "Down" is rather sexy.  I wonder what he looks like above the lips.I mean his body is fair...and yeah I would be curious to play with his "johnson."  The same goes for this guy walking getting a high five. Would you look at those abs! I'm a little disappointed that the abs are about the only thing you can make out in the photo...but oh well.

LMAO!!!  I would not mind placing my hands on the prints!  Of course if I was the one who applied the body paint to get those prints....he would probably just have two red streaks/strips back there from me gripping his ass from various angles multiple times.  As I kept looking through pictures, I found this other one with the two guys and realized that the guy with more pigment was my handprint on the ass guy from the front.  NO he don't have major abs but I still feel he has some sexy appeal. If he approached me to ask me out, I'd say yes.  I like men with a variety of body types....he as a stockiness to himself that I think is attractive.  The guy with the crown next to my handprint guy....does have some abs. Does he have an erection or is that just how he hangs and swangs?

Nothing too profound...I find these two sexy also...mostly the one with the spotted loin cloth, but the other seems to have a decent body also....his lower half...thighs will get me every time!  However the fact that it looks like he has toilet paper hanging out/off his ass...is such a downfall for him.

OK I had to take a break from talking about the guys that I found sexy.  "Bike Free" doesn't have much of an ass, he seems like he is probably older, and since we can't see his face I can't say if he has that distinguished gentleman thing going for him.  What caught my eye was the legs.  I mean the left looks at best average...but the right looks all musckular and stuff.

Guess what....I found a picture of an African-american from the event.  He might even be the token attendee but for sure the token photo-op. So can we talk about this brother? Really?? An afro, and tongue hanging out.  Yeah I know, I know WAY too fuckin skinny....but PHAT in the right place!  I wonder if there were a bunch of guys pissed this brother showed up that day.  LOL I wonder how many secret "n*gga" he was called? 

OK so clearly from the discussion of al the photos up to now it's safe to say I'm a gay man.  That said, Yes I am aware that this next picture is a woman.  All I can say is that ...well for some reason the idea of having sex in that position seems REALLY appealing to me.

Ok now that you have seen a few pictures and get a slight idea of what the event is about....could you go naked in public?  Say at a nude beach? Or even on a naked bike ride?  These last two pictures are are here to represent what I believe would currently be the only way I think I could go through with something like this.  Tecate taste ok but I would require something strong than just beer....and probably so much so I probably wouldn't really be able to stay on the bike.  AND if I did manage to drink enough to have the courage to get on a bicycle naked and have the wherewithall to funtion properly, I would need some sort of mask....and this guy is still missing the wild wig and big sunglasses that I would wear.

 Sincerely,

Pharoah

Playboy Jazz Festival

Self,

The weekend of Father's Day I attended the Playboy Jazz Festival held here in Los Angeles at the Hollywood Bowl.  To my dismay I was late but I was able to still make it in plenty of time to see the "main" performers.

The performers that were the highlights for me were:
Sheila E.
Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings

WE had plenty of food to munch on. The venue openly allows alcohol so we were sipping on Jack Daniel's Honey Whiskey and lemonade.  a variety of Jello-shots were flying about the seats. We laughed and just had a good time.  I tried to figure out how to use Instagram, but I couldn't while I was there with both food and cocktail in my hands. 

I even tried a "funny" brownie for the first time.  It really didn't taste all that good.  I was told I was "on one" later in the evening...but I didn't feel any different,...that's not true I had a headache.  The lack of a buzz makes me wonder if the "effects" are really just in the users' head and because they want it to do something to make them feel a certain way, then it does make them feel that way.

I also now have tickets to attend Jazzfest West in July out in HOT ASS SAN DIMAS, CA....FOR TWO DAYS!  But the list of performers shuold make it worth suffering the heat..... However the guidelines for this venue prohibits damn near everything because they want you to buy everything from their venders.  I have figured out Instagram....I think, so I should have it running for in San Dimas....lol course they may confiscate my phone for running around naked if it gets hot enough.   Kidding!


Sincerely,
Pharoah

I'm off to Las Vegas for a conference I'll be testing this Instagram to see if I can get it working by Jazzfest West.

Memorial Weekend Up's & Down's

Self,

So for the holiday I was in Phoenix, AZ with family.  Surprisingly it was not hot as hell there....not until the day I left, which I took as AZ's way of letting me know it was time for me to go home....lol and I did!

I know I titled this "the Up's and down's" but I don't know if I want to start with the ups or downs. 

Well I will start with the good because that was the whole reason for the trip.  I was in AZ because my nephin (nephew-cousin...ie my cousin's oldest son who is like a nephew because of my relationship with his mom) is now a High school graduate...and well a college student all in the same trip.  Obviously, attending my nephin's graduation was the purpose of my trip to the state that's usually hot as hell, this time of year.  He's also a college student becasue his mom made him enroll in summer classed at the local community college that happen to start YESTERDAY (5/29/12.)  Yeah I think that kind of sucked too, but he has to be in school to stay on the family health insurace and she wasn't going to let him sit in the house all summer playing video games while she and her husband went to work everyday.  LOL I don't blame her.

The down....
Well I had been comunicating with this guy who lives there...well actually three, but this one in particular I think I was really feeling.  So the day after the graduation, CH (his initials) and I plan to meet.  We have a late meal, play a couple games of cosmic bowling, skinny dip in his jacuzzi, watch "The Iron Lady" (because that was one of the only of his many bootlegs dvds he had that would actually plays.)  About 5am we're naked in his bed and things start getting ...exciting. Just as things start getting intense....I say something that he decides to responds to by rolling over and going to sleep....I'm left laying in bed next to him feeling insulted and hurt.  Well it is after 5am and the drive back to my cousin's house in the boonies would be murder, so I just trun over and get soem sleep also.  I wake a couple hours later, still feelin insulted I dress and leave.

Most of the day goes by and I didn't hear from CH, which to me kind of adds insult to injury...or rather injury to insult.  So I send a text that was uncomplimentary.  Of course that results in a few uncomplimentary text directed at me.  Needless to say at this point we are no longer speaking with each other. 

In the text dialogue we had CH basically said that the events of 5am had nothing to do with those at 9am surrounding my departure and that it was very shady of me to have slept in his bed and not have acknowledge him when I left.  Hindsight being 100% more clear, I did and do agree with him.  I can't help but wonder if I was somehow subcounciously sabotaging the situation.  I mean I was having a pretty good time....he is sexy as hell...pretty much a example of my ideal man physically  (aaahh, the ass and thighs on this man that became apparent when his clothes came off......not to mention the more obvious arms, chest and abs.  I don't know if all that measure out for me in a way that I wasn't....entitled to be with someone like that....if I could keep someone like that interested and satisfied....if I would be enough for him.   Then you through in the logistics....he lives in FREAKIN PHOENIX, AZ!  I mean I had enough of a headache with KB who only lived a 45 minute drive away...CH is 5 hours!  (yes only an hour by flight...but I aint rich and will be even less so once I buy a house.)...and its PHOENIX......a city I nearly despise...and can almost say with certainty that I will never live there. 

So maybe I unintentially blew up the situation.  That said when I CH pointed out my errors I of course apologized but he doesn't believe me and didn't feel it was genuine.  Part of me wants to do SOMETHING to try to make my feelings and apologies more clear and sincere.  or should I just let it go?

Don't get me wrong, I have also considered that his words and reaction may have just been an act and he played it up to make his infaction at 5am seem more insignificant.  That said the fact remains that although I did feel wronged by him, I feel bad that I wronged him in the process and feel I should try to fix it.  

If anyone is reading this...I would like to hear your thoughts.

Sincerely,
Pharoah

What is a Horny Toad Suppose to do?

Self,

So I've been chatting with different guys on websites.....just chatting.

I come across this one guy who lives like FIVE minutes away.  He's 27 and supposedly never been with a man.....sexually, romantically and dare I say even intimately.  He's of  the mind to change that....and he wants to change that with me?

Why?????   I don't know what to do.  I mean he is SOOO "green" I've practically taken to calling him Similac....which is what I'll use as his name here.

Most of our conversations were very generic.  So via text messaging he decides he wants to probe and wants to know if he can ask a personal question, I tell him my general rule...he can ask anything he is willing to answer himself.  Which opened a small flood gate.

Similac: "Do you like to kiss?...truefully idk. depends on the person"
Pharoah: "depends...everyone isn't a good kisser."
Similiac: "Do you give head or like to receive? Me truthfully I wanna give head and try lickin balls"
Pharoah: "Boy i give/receive head, lick/suck balls - like when it done to me, like when my a$$ is eaten - sometimes will eat a$$. I don't want to sound like an asshole, but you must not realize that you are talking to a man who has been comfortably gay for almost 20 years....lol n my day I would run circles around you....you ain't ready for me....and I don't think you can handle it."
Similac: "Lol...what you mean by run circles"
Pharoah: "Meaning...it would b an experience that would make our head spin...maybe even make u addicted."
Similac: "Damm I like the sound of that man and I'm ready for what ever. I can take whatever comes"
Pharoah: "You say that....but I don't think you are...I mean you've said that you've fantasized about just kissing and cuddling a guy..... when I was your age my fantasies consisted of 3sums and orgies.....you ain't ready [for me.]"
Similac: "I'm ready  trust me"
Pharaoh: "lol no u not...cuz afterwards you would b n love...and that should happen with someone @ your level."
Similac: "I doubt if you that good man lol....but I know what I want tho"
Pharoah: "what is it that you know you want and think you are ready for?"
Similac: "Im ready for some good ass dick I want sum good sex/ sum good love makin."
(To myself "If you equating "good sex" to "good love makin" then I really don't have to be THAT good, the act alone will make me so.")

 Hindsight being 20/20 I realize my attempt to let him know he was getting in over his head, actually only present him with a quest he want to prove of which he is worthy. 

So here's the problem...I'm not attracted to him.   He's a nice enough kid that I don't want his first time to be with a jerkwad-asshole that creates an experience that leaves him jaded and bitter.  At the same time....there is some appeal to being "the first" and exploring undiscovered country...in so much that hopefully his lack of expereince would mean he won't have any "hang-ups" and be willing to try any and 'erything and that could be fun.

A LITTLE HELP HERE, PLEASE?  Am I wrong for even considering to do this?

Sincerely,
Pharoah

PS I've also crossed paths with a cutie in Boston that seems he might also want me as a friendly cherry-popper, thankfully he doesn't seem as "green" as Similac.

Seriously?

Self,

So why have I been contacted by yet another person from my past? This dude is FINE as hell...body, good looks, Phat ass....juciy....well you know. Whew!

However, I haven't heard from him since 2009. And like Nakki, I think he contacted me because he doesn't remember my profile (although it has not changed, much) on the site we were on initially, however he is using a new profile.

Honestly I don't know what to do with this...part of me just wants to brush him off like he did me back then, particularly since things with KB are going well. However, I be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to find out why he contacted me and if he remembers me.

Sincerely,

Pharoah

Dilemma

Self,

OK a while back I dated this guy....hmm I'll call him Nakki (again a bastardize version of his name.)  I think this was sometime in 2005-2006 maybe because I was still living in Long Beach at the time.  I should correct something, we weren't dating, we were just kicking it.  I think in my younger naive  one days, my push to try and classify what were doing, may have been part of the problem between us.

The other problem was that one day he asked to borrow $100 because he was short on rent.  Yes I gave it to him....always willing to help out if I can.  So he said he would have the money to give back to me by a certain day.   So as the day got closer he told me that he didn't have the money yet and needed more time.   Understanding and accommodating me, told him it wasn't a problem, that he could take some more time to get the money back to me.  About a week later he told me he had my money and to meet him at his house.  So I did.  I think I sat in my car for like 2 hours waiting for him to come home.  I tried to call Nakki several time of course, with no answer.  I left a message more upset that he had me drive all the way to his house and waste all that sitting in the car waiting then the fact that he didn't have the money...and told him as such.  I never heard back from him.

Why did I run across Nakki's online profile and started chatting.  He says he doesn't remember who I am. I'll admit there are some details that I have not shared with him to jog his memory...like the borrowed $100,  or that I was a victim of an attempted car jacking outside his place when I was parking to hang out with him one evening.

I don't know what I want/expect from reconnecting with Nakki.  I mean initially I think I just wanted to  be able to see the recognition cross his face and maybe see him squirm about the $100.  Not that I necessarily need it back....in fact the asshole in me probably would refuse to accept it making some kind of allusion to it being charity and me doing my party to help the less fortunate.

The irony is that as I was writing this post I had a text conversation with Nakki that basically lets me know he is still in the same boat he was in when we were hanging out.  He still work as a trainer for Bally's.  Seeing private clients on the sly to make ends meet. No car.  But now he is in his early 40's.  (Yes all that working out has paid off, the body is still sexy. but I don't remember the sex being that good to want to go back down that road.)

Hell, with that info he may just ask to borrow more money.  So I don't know what to do.

Sincerely,
Pharoah

Dirty Draws

Self,

So this past week I had a number of folks come out the woodworks as they say.  This gets complicated so I'll go slow hoping you don't get lost.

So years ago when I was in college I was seeing this guy who at the time lived 2 hours away in San Diego. he was older...almost 10 years difference (yes he looked a lot younger.)  So I'm going to refer to him as SubZero, because that was the name he gave his motorcycle.

So a brief account of my and SubZero's history together is that we  were seeing each other for about 9 months. At the end of my school year, I went to stay with my cousin and her two sons in Arizona so I could get a summer job.  This was before cell phones were the norm for everyone so staying in touch with SubZero was difficult, but I tried.  I returned to school and in short, SubZero dumped me.  I was younger and dumber then and while swimming in my sea of rejection I did not want to totally let him go, so we transitioned into a friendship.

As friends I met the man who SubZero started seeing before I moved to Arizona, who I'll call Cinco-Tres...because he was only 5'3 which was even shorter than SubZero who is only 5'4.  Well in order to keep up appearance so I would not look like the idiot that's sitting across from the man for whom I was dumped, I befriended Cinco-Tres.  And Cinco-Tres was bonding with SubZero's roommate/tenant, Captain Cheer, (he was either coaching or on a cheer squad at the time....and I think this was even before "Bring It On."

So the fallout:
 * SubZero and I eventually a friends with benefits situation which kinda ended when I felt SubZero was just about the benefits and not the friendship so I became distant.
 * SubZero and Cinco-Tres broke up, Cinco-Tres and I stayed in touch for a while but not too long.
 * Captain Cheer moved out of SubZero's house and I never heard of him again.

This past week I heard from ALL THREE of these men...pretty much on the same day.  I got a text from Cinco-tres who then passed my number on to Captain Cheer, but SubZero actually called and we talked I think like an hour.

Cinco-tres is in a on and off relationship, that he not sure about at this point.  Captain Cheer move out, went into denistry and he and Cinco are like brothers now. Captain Cheer is seeing a military man who is younger, in the closet, and currently on deployment.  According to Cinco it was Captain's curiosity about me that prompted the initial text.  Captain Cheer invited me to come visit so we (the three of us) could catch up.

At the end of the conversation with SubZero, he invited me to come down and visit him.  But I can't help but be suspicious that the invite and call was just a ploy for him to start reaping benefits again, since it seems from our conversation that his dating situation hasn't been going as well as he would like.

I'm fine with seeing both Cinco-tres and Captain Cheer and may try to plan to go to San Diego soon, there's a few other folks there I would like to see too.

I don't know what to do about SubZero though.....I'm kinda week for that man and I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

Sincerely,
Pharoah

PS. The title/label isn't meant to imply a secret (ie dirty laundry), but simply to reference the past as in the underwear you pulled off before putting on a new set...meaning continued living and moving forward.