Dilemma

Self,

OK a while back I dated this guy....hmm I'll call him Nakki (again a bastardize version of his name.)  I think this was sometime in 2005-2006 maybe because I was still living in Long Beach at the time.  I should correct something, we weren't dating, we were just kicking it.  I think in my younger naive  one days, my push to try and classify what were doing, may have been part of the problem between us.

The other problem was that one day he asked to borrow $100 because he was short on rent.  Yes I gave it to him....always willing to help out if I can.  So he said he would have the money to give back to me by a certain day.   So as the day got closer he told me that he didn't have the money yet and needed more time.   Understanding and accommodating me, told him it wasn't a problem, that he could take some more time to get the money back to me.  About a week later he told me he had my money and to meet him at his house.  So I did.  I think I sat in my car for like 2 hours waiting for him to come home.  I tried to call Nakki several time of course, with no answer.  I left a message more upset that he had me drive all the way to his house and waste all that sitting in the car waiting then the fact that he didn't have the money...and told him as such.  I never heard back from him.

Why did I run across Nakki's online profile and started chatting.  He says he doesn't remember who I am. I'll admit there are some details that I have not shared with him to jog his memory...like the borrowed $100,  or that I was a victim of an attempted car jacking outside his place when I was parking to hang out with him one evening.

I don't know what I want/expect from reconnecting with Nakki.  I mean initially I think I just wanted to  be able to see the recognition cross his face and maybe see him squirm about the $100.  Not that I necessarily need it back....in fact the asshole in me probably would refuse to accept it making some kind of allusion to it being charity and me doing my party to help the less fortunate.

The irony is that as I was writing this post I had a text conversation with Nakki that basically lets me know he is still in the same boat he was in when we were hanging out.  He still work as a trainer for Bally's.  Seeing private clients on the sly to make ends meet. No car.  But now he is in his early 40's.  (Yes all that working out has paid off, the body is still sexy. but I don't remember the sex being that good to want to go back down that road.)

Hell, with that info he may just ask to borrow more money.  So I don't know what to do.

Sincerely,
Pharoah