Over the weekend I had a chance to observe my brother, LilBro, (not to be confused with my mentee, BabyBro) with a couple of his friends. Well actually I notice this behavior/action between them before but this time it made me take pause.
They have a secret handshake....Atleast that what I've noticed among the males in the group. I mean it's not that secret in so much that they don't go hide or ask everyone in the room to close their eyes. So I guess it more accurate to say that they have a uniquely specific handshake. In a way it reminds me of the handshake "Will and Jazz" use to do on the "Fresh Prince of Bel Aire" show. I'm not going to describe my brother's handshake. (I may ask LilBro if that's where they got it.)
However, it made me think what bonds individuals create. I mean I don't have a special handshake with any of my friends,(hmm I might be a tad jealous about that,) but they all turn to me with open arms looking for a hug. Does that count. Of course, we know of the bonding that happens through shared tragedy/trauma. Those are usually referred to as being "forged by fire" or "made in the trenches." This is often responsible for friendship between soldiers and/or police officers. Granted there are others friendships that are "forged by fire" as well, some that aren't even bad. For instance players on the same sport team, women who are in labor and deliver babies at the same time, students in the same class or school, or even those who were burned/hurt by the same individual(s), rather romantic or otherwise.
Now from where I stand I wouldn't consider my brother's friendships as being "forged by fire" since from what I see outside of working together they spend most of their time eating, drinking, and smoking. And just as I consider the notion of categorizing their friendship as meaningless, I recall how someone had repeatedly try to do the same to me and my friends because we "were forced on each other because of school." I, of course, disregard this person's opinion on the objection that the person wasn't present for the moments that connected us. I really had to stop and think then. I realized that I shouldn't judge the bonds LilBro has with his friends. I am not privy to all the experiences that they shared.
So it made me wonder what is it that makes individuals come together as friends? I'd love to hear about the things that bond you with your friends.
Sincerely,
Pharaoh
2 comments:
What bonds me and my friends?
BOYS!!!!!! WE LOVE FINE BOYS!!!!! We stare at, gawk at, talk about, talk about, debate, categorize, think about, worry about, wonder about, talk about.... BOYS!!! and it never gets old. Celebrities, athletes, the guys we see on the street, in the club, at school, on the train. Oh we love cars too. And music. And shared ideas about fysh, relationships, clothes, technology, school, and such. But mostly boys. And it works for us because our interest in them is so deep and we can be complete honest about how we feel.
LOL well That is often a unifying factor...both good and bad.
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