Self,
SOOO, in short I have been struggling with my faith. For a while it has repeatedly seem that when ever I seek out something positive for myself, and try to have faith that things will work out....it doesn't.
It's been hard because I don't want to seem ungrateful for the blessing that I do receive. However, it sucks to want something and it stays out of reach.
Well I mentioned that I had a jury summons. I DID NOT want to to have to serve on a case. I expected to just call in to the automated system a couple times then be released. But I actually had to go into the courthouse. After going to the Courthouse jury assembly room, I thought "Ok if I spend a day sitting here then get released, I can work with that." However I got called on the first panel and was forced to return a week later. The whole week I kept telling myself that I wouldn't have to serve on the case because it was suppose to last 30 days. I was trying to stake the claim in the universe for what I wanted. The idea was that when I called the system again a week later it would say that I am dismissed. Yet, I was told to report to the courthouse again.
So Wednesday I had to sit through the jury selection process. I was one of the first names to be called for the jury box. I spent the WHOLE day in the jury box. I thought my fate was sealed. At 4:30pm (Right before the judge called a recess for the day,) I was asked to be excused by one of the attorneys. And my duty was complete.
In the end I got what I wanted, my jury duty did not extend beyond the 2 week period. I was a bit surprised and relieved.
I must say that this experience may be a start to rebuilding my dwindling faith. I was frustrated that for a while it looked like I was going to have to extend the jury service. The lesson that I am going to work on trying to remember is that God/Creator/Divine Universe may not deliver when and how you want it but there's a delivery all the same. Maybe on the road to rebuilding my faith is to not focus on the hows and whens, just the whats that equals to the desired results.
Sincerely,
Pharaoh
3 comments:
Keep the faith brotha! Worry and anxiety is a sign of unfaithfulness. He may have kept you in that building because if you would have left earlier you may have gotten in trouble. He has a plan, the plan and all you gotta do is walk. He needed you to be at peace with yourself in that jury box for a quick minute. I hope it was worth it....
Dali Lama Dallas Black
Royal Temple of Crown Royal
Namaste
Thanks Dallas.
Temple of Crown Royal. Funny
Faith...I would say it's a four-letter word, but it has five. Nonetheless, I hope this experience can be the start of a journey to restore your faith to a higher level.
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