Self,
I went on a date with my "Str8-husband" last night.
This is a term that ScheHimazade and I developed to refer to certain heterosexual males in our lives. These are men who are secure in their own sexuality and yours as a gay man. They know and appreciate the intrinsic value of your shared friendship. They are trusting of you and worthy of yours. You're both open, honest, dependable, willing to be vulnerable with the other, supportive when called upon, you are willing and expected to check each other when you get out of line, and yet neither have the expectation or desire to have sex - with each other. ScheHimazade is a whore and has more than one. I, on the other hand, have only one and am faithfull to mine (...ok, for the moment) despite him being in a relationship with a woman.
I digress.
In August I bought tickets for the world music concert series at Walt Disney Concert Hall (WDCH) in downtown Los Angeles. I bought them for a couple reason. The main one being that the series included a performance by my favorite Portuguese Fado* artist, Mariza. I would have a second ticket for ScheHimazade if he manages to be in LA at the time of Mariza's show. (He's never seen her live, despite being the one to introduce me to her music - I'm such a good friend/brother, aren't I.) The fact that the tickets are interchangable with other series held at WDCH, so I really had the potential to see eight shows by myself or four with a guest. Lastly I decided that I love "the arts" and wanted to be able to get out and see more and the series provided that opportunity. Other reasons for getting the tickets were WDCH is beautiful inside - almost breath takingly so; a world music series sounded much more appealing than the standard classical performances of the LA Philharmonic that's in residence there.
The Te-he-he of all that is that I was negligent in reading my subscriber's manual when the tickets arrived. Had I done so then, I would have been aware that the exchange process took approximately 2-3 weeks which left me greatly handicap on time, the night before the show*.
I had to find someone to go with me to the show or it would be a waste of money. This is one example when having a str8-husband is good, (I tried to get a date but he was unavailable.) I called him and he agreed to go....after checking with his girlfriend.
Last night, he arrives at my place, relatively on time, well dressed and we hit the road. We talked about everything. The pending elelction, his relationship with his girlfriend, my recent episode with Sir Exiled* (he said he hasn't been reading the blog because he isn't technologically inclined,) his family, my family - simply everything.
Part of the conversation include that he had never been to a performance at WDCH. I quickly commented on the fact that yet again I was being given an opportunity to "pop his cherry". What I realized is that I had the privledge of exposing him to quite a few new experiences. Mostly in the realm of music in so much as various genres, artists, and songs, much like the concert. There's other too. Not to say my Srt8-hubby was/is a social misfit, but we all could use a few pointers occassionally to help with the fine tuning of our skills in social interactions. Hell until I came along he didn't have any gay friends...well none that he knew about, I think.
In my opinion, the biggest of these "virgin" experiences is the idea of long term friendships. I have friendships that reach back as far as preschool/daycare and elementary schools. On the other hand his friendships do not extend beyond each phase of his life. So the people he socialized with at specific locations (school, work, church etc), he would only interact with them at those locations. When he moved on, he left them behind. We have long since graduated from the university we were attending when we met. I think I am the first and among a few people with whom he has made an effort to build a long term friendship. I see him doing it with other people (including his current girlfriend, they met in a Masters program a couple years back.) I see him blossoming and feel kind of proud to think I had a hand in that.
After the show we went to grab something to eat. Obviously, a large segment of the converstaion as we sat at the restaurant was the concert. There was even a philosophical discussion about what each musican on stage represented in life. As always we enjoyed each other's company, but the evening ended and we went our seperate ways.
Although I messed up by not exchanging my extra ticket as I had planned, the mishap was actually turned out to be blessing.
2 It's good to share.
Sincerely,
Pharaoh
*Fado is a genre of music that is similar to American Blues in so much as it's the expression of the oppressed and poverty-strickened.
*The concert was a group that performed Brazilian Bossa Nova. To me it's a culturally distict offshoot of jazz. Probably the most famous example of this genre is "The Girl from Ipanema."
* See post(s) "Relax - Relate - Release - (Revised)" & "Relax - Relate - Release - Revisited"
I went on a date with my "Str8-husband" last night.
This is a term that ScheHimazade and I developed to refer to certain heterosexual males in our lives. These are men who are secure in their own sexuality and yours as a gay man. They know and appreciate the intrinsic value of your shared friendship. They are trusting of you and worthy of yours. You're both open, honest, dependable, willing to be vulnerable with the other, supportive when called upon, you are willing and expected to check each other when you get out of line, and yet neither have the expectation or desire to have sex - with each other. ScheHimazade is a whore and has more than one. I, on the other hand, have only one and am faithfull to mine (...ok, for the moment) despite him being in a relationship with a woman.
I digress.
In August I bought tickets for the world music concert series at Walt Disney Concert Hall (WDCH) in downtown Los Angeles. I bought them for a couple reason. The main one being that the series included a performance by my favorite Portuguese Fado* artist, Mariza. I would have a second ticket for ScheHimazade if he manages to be in LA at the time of Mariza's show. (He's never seen her live, despite being the one to introduce me to her music - I'm such a good friend/brother, aren't I.) The fact that the tickets are interchangable with other series held at WDCH, so I really had the potential to see eight shows by myself or four with a guest. Lastly I decided that I love "the arts" and wanted to be able to get out and see more and the series provided that opportunity. Other reasons for getting the tickets were WDCH is beautiful inside - almost breath takingly so; a world music series sounded much more appealing than the standard classical performances of the LA Philharmonic that's in residence there.
The Te-he-he of all that is that I was negligent in reading my subscriber's manual when the tickets arrived. Had I done so then, I would have been aware that the exchange process took approximately 2-3 weeks which left me greatly handicap on time, the night before the show*.
I had to find someone to go with me to the show or it would be a waste of money. This is one example when having a str8-husband is good, (I tried to get a date but he was unavailable.) I called him and he agreed to go....after checking with his girlfriend.
Last night, he arrives at my place, relatively on time, well dressed and we hit the road. We talked about everything. The pending elelction, his relationship with his girlfriend, my recent episode with Sir Exiled* (he said he hasn't been reading the blog because he isn't technologically inclined,) his family, my family - simply everything.
Part of the conversation include that he had never been to a performance at WDCH. I quickly commented on the fact that yet again I was being given an opportunity to "pop his cherry". What I realized is that I had the privledge of exposing him to quite a few new experiences. Mostly in the realm of music in so much as various genres, artists, and songs, much like the concert. There's other too. Not to say my Srt8-hubby was/is a social misfit, but we all could use a few pointers occassionally to help with the fine tuning of our skills in social interactions. Hell until I came along he didn't have any gay friends...well none that he knew about, I think.
In my opinion, the biggest of these "virgin" experiences is the idea of long term friendships. I have friendships that reach back as far as preschool/daycare and elementary schools. On the other hand his friendships do not extend beyond each phase of his life. So the people he socialized with at specific locations (school, work, church etc), he would only interact with them at those locations. When he moved on, he left them behind. We have long since graduated from the university we were attending when we met. I think I am the first and among a few people with whom he has made an effort to build a long term friendship. I see him doing it with other people (including his current girlfriend, they met in a Masters program a couple years back.) I see him blossoming and feel kind of proud to think I had a hand in that.
After the show we went to grab something to eat. Obviously, a large segment of the converstaion as we sat at the restaurant was the concert. There was even a philosophical discussion about what each musican on stage represented in life. As always we enjoyed each other's company, but the evening ended and we went our seperate ways.
Although I messed up by not exchanging my extra ticket as I had planned, the mishap was actually turned out to be blessing.
I might take my Str8-husband's girlfriend next time, she hasn't been to WDCH either.
The Lesson here:
1 One never know what good may come out of one's follies,2 It's good to share.
Sincerely,
Pharaoh
*Fado is a genre of music that is similar to American Blues in so much as it's the expression of the oppressed and poverty-strickened.
*The concert was a group that performed Brazilian Bossa Nova. To me it's a culturally distict offshoot of jazz. Probably the most famous example of this genre is "The Girl from Ipanema."
* See post(s) "Relax - Relate - Release - (Revised)" & "Relax - Relate - Release - Revisited"
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