Paternal Privledge or Just Brat-like Behavior

Self,


Ok now that it's understood that my dad and grandmother are in the hospital, but recovering and doing well, I have to speak on the "craziness" my father caused.


Set the scene. So Friday I get a call mid-morning from my cousin telling me that my grandmother is back in the hospital, that my dad hasn't been released from his hospital visit and that surprise, she's here in California. She also informs me that she would be going to see our grandmother shortly and that she basically expected to see me that evening. Obviously, all this lets me know that I should go to my parents' house after work rather than just going home. Not too long after that I get a call from my mom telling me that she is going to pick up her car from the dealer after having visited both my dad and my grandmother and was trying to coordinate our arrivals at the house.

So after work I sit through rush hour traffic on the I-405 to get to my parents house. Everyone arrived at different times, so some time has passed before I found out how each of our patients were doing. However it is determined that there is enough time before visiting hours at both hospitals end that I can make a visit. They intentionally did not tell my dad that my cousin was in town so the plan was that she would go with me to surprise him then we would then go see our grandmother who would be surpised that my cousin was making a second visit and that I was able to come along.

As BigCuz and I gets ready to go, my mom gets up and rumages through a grocery bag and hands me a Orange flavored Hostess cupcakes package and says, "Here, your dad wanted a Zinger but I didn't go to the store and I'll just have to replace this for your brother later." Being a good wife, she remembers that there's a box of his favorite flavored Triscut crackers in the pantry, so she decides to sends that to him also and put both items in a small bag.


BigCuz and I ride Thunderbolt to the hospital where my dad is located. We make it to my dad's room. I walked in first and then my cousin and he is pleased to see us. We exchange greetings, I tell him that we on our way to also go see our grandma, so we won't be able to stay long. At some point I remember the bag of goodies, so I reach in it and pulls out the Cupcakes and tells him that mom sent it to him. He looks at it, kinda frowns and hands it back. "That's not what I asked for, I want the Zinger with the coconut flakes."


I take it back and return it to the bag and pulls out the crackers, and said, "Well, she sent this too."


"Nah, I don't want them neither." I just put the crackers back in the bag. We chat a bit more and then we say are farewells so that we have time to make it to see my grandmother.


BigCuz and I get down the hallway and she starts laughing, "Not only was the crackers not satisfactory, but neither was the cupcakes and your mom had stolen them at that." Of course, I start laughing with her. We go down the road a spell to another hospital to visit my grandma, afterwards, we stop at BevMo to get some libations for everyone at the house, then go back to my parents house. We all have a good laugh about my dad and the stolen cupcakes when I retell the story to my mom and aunt. I was ordered to stay the night due to the late hour and the cocktails.


Remember I went straight to my parents house right after work so I had no clothes but the funky one's I wore at work on Friday. I plan to make the drive home and back to continue hanging out with my cousin and to slip in another visit to the family patients. It's suggested that I instead go down the street to Target and buy some extra clothes rather than drive all the way back to Glendale. So BigCuz and I head out making a stop for her at the bank and then Target for me. Just as I park Thunderbolt in the lot at Target, I get a call from my brother asking me to get him something from Target and my mom wanting some sodas that are on sale there. Okay. So my cousin and I walk through the store, I find me some shorts, T-shirts, underwear, toothbrush and other toiletries. The we walk over to the grocery section to find the sodas. I put the four 12-packs on the cart and we start to walk towards the cashiers. What aisle do we start down, the one with all the snacks.

I think my cousin planned it, because out of her mouth comes, "[Pharaoh,] You should be a good son and find some Zingers for your sick pappy!" I start to argue, but I realize my arguement is based on being cheap and not wanting to spend more money than necessary. So I give in and look for the damn Zingers. So I search the shelf and don't find any coconut but they do have Zingers - vanilla. I buy them, its a box of 10-12. We return to the house to find out that my uncle, his girlfriend, their daughter (the youngest grandchild,) and the girlfriend's mother are there and are planning to go see my grandma in the hospital along with my grandfather and aunt. In order not to overwhelm the hospital with too many guests at once, my mom, my brother, my cousin and I decide to go visit my father first then go see my grandma. And yes the newly purchased Zingers are going with us too.

We get to the hospital find my dad out in the parking lot in a wheelchair smoking a cigar. Greetings are exchanged and I pull out the Zingers and hands them to my dad. He looks at the box, frowns and says, "No that not it, but hey leave them at the house and I'll eat them when I get home." I put the bax back in the bag and think to myself I knew I shouldn't have wasted money on them. We go inside because it's a little breezy and stop in one of the waiting areas to continue our visit. While we sitting there one of my dad's friends who was visiting his mother on a different floor walks over to us. He sits and visits for a while then my mom and dad decide to follow him upstairs to see the friend's mom. While they are upstairs, the three of us just chat a bit more. Eventually I decides to tear into the box of Zingers and take one out for myself. My brother asks for one. About that time, my parents come back and see we opened the Zingers. My mom wants one, but my dad refuses.

We decides it's about time to go so we can see my grandma, and my dad asks us to help get out of the wheelchair and back in to his bed, so we follow him back to his room. Just as we get him settled, my uncle, his girlfriend, their daughter (Lil-Bit,) and the girlfriend's mother come walking into the room. So Lil-Bit is being real talkative with my dad. That's when I remember the box of Zingers. I try to be respectful of the parent/child relationship so I make a point of asking Lil-Bit's mom on the sly, if it is ok with her if Lil-Bit has a Zinger. She says, "Sure it's ok, but I'm not sure if he likes them, but I do." I preceed to hand her one, then my uncle, that's when Lil-Bit turns and I had her one, and then I offer one to my uncle's quasi-mother-in-law. Then my dad asks for one for later and places it on the bedside table. Shortly after that we all say farewell to my dad and leave.

When I finally leave my parents house taking my cousin back to LAX and then continuing to my place in Glendale, there were two Zingers left. I'm Not sure who will enjoy them. But sometime on Saturday after we left my father, my brother found the "Right" Zingers and they should but a smile on the old man's face.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Weekend Update

Self,

Well, with the not so good stuff so I can end on a positive note.

Friday morning I got a call while I was at work that my grandmother had been rushed to the Emergency Room for the second time this week. The first trip was thought to have been due to a stroke, and fortunately it wasn't. This second trip I'm afraid we still have not been told what ails my grandmother, but we do know what doesn't afflect her.

During this call I was also informed that my father had not been released from his hospital visit as had been expected. Although I don't want to seem as if I am making light of any hospital visit, as if it does not give cause to be worried or concerned. My dad's visit was planned he had elected to have a knee replacement surgery. We had thought that he was going to be home on Thursday but it turns out that they are keeping him a bit longer to rehabilitate his knee.

And they are in two different hospitals about a mile and a half apart.

The good note of these circumstance, is two-fold.
1 they both were last seen to be recovering and in good spirits.
2 The sudden scare with my grandmother brought my older cousin out from Phoenix and I had the chance to spend time with her this weekend.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Julie & Julia - and Pharaoh

Self,

I recently saw this film recently, on DVD. Meryl Streep was fantastic as Julia Child!

I think this film told and good story in an interesting way. it has inspired the cook in me. NO I am not going to duplicate Amy Adams' character, Julie Powell, and attempt to cook all of Child's recipes and blog about it. I mean how unoriginal would that make me? However I am inspired to enough to want to GLANCE at Child's book and recipes to see what was/is all the hype about it.

Hmm maybe I'll just have a dinner party, making one of Childs recipes the focus. Or better yet just make several courses of the meal from here recipes?


Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Nothing On You

Self,

Ok I been kind feeling this song, particularly the vocals for the chorus/hook more so than the rap verse, but hey it all comes together fairly well. But I didn't know who the artist on the song.

So for those who know me, they know I don't have cable and therefore, me seeing a music video is like....just short of a miracle!

I was rather suprise to have caught the end of this video one day while visiting my parents (they do have cable.) And I was able to find out the artist on the song. I'm sure those more "in the know" already know it's B.O.B featuring Bruno Mars. Knowing the names didn't really help since I saw two names and two guys in the video. I figured it out, Bruno is singing the chorus.

LOL all that to say is I don't know who Bruno Mars is or where he came from, ("but, if there's a snow storm tonight he's going on my tires,") becuse I think he is SO CUTE! I mean like adorable cute, not sexy hunk.

Check it.




Sincerely,
Pharaoh

March Madness

Self,

Well I apologize for the fact that I've been away for a minute or two. It's all been due to March Madness. No, I don't mean the basketball hoopla that so many folks get excited about. I'm talking about the fact that Double D chose to come spend his 40th birthday here in Los Angeles for the first week of March. In addition to Double D, Tazz and another friend of mine all stayed at my place. And it was Madness - just nonstop entertainment. Some of the highlights are:

We saw Jeniffer Lewis in her one woman show, "Hot Flash," that was a fund raiser for the Gay and Lesbian Center of Los Angeles. SHE IS A HOT MESS! Just to mix it up a bit I invited my girl, Miz Milah, to see the show as well. The five of us and the rest of the audience laughed to tears nearly the whole evening. Guess who was in the audience only a couple rows away, RuPaul, - not the drag diva but the man beneath the the wigs and mascara. I only mention it because Tazz had been playing episodes of RuPaul's show on his laptop almost since he walked through my door and then our first group outing we see RuPaul in the flesh. Double D managed to get a birthday picture with Ms. Lewis and he and Tazz took a picture together with RuPaul. After the show we ventured out to WeHo where Double D had arranged for use to meet and hang out with Wonder Man.

We also saw the last show of "The Color Purple" starring Fantasia. Yes, for those who were asking she showed up and performed her ass off. I think there was a lot of ad-libs by the cast in general since it was their last show together, but it made it bit more funny and entertaining for us in the audience.

We also went to spoken word performance showcase here in LA, called FlyPoets, that happens once a month, which this time featured Malcolm Jamal Warner - who is still sexy as hell!

The last big venture of the week was Vegas baby! We took a road trip to "Sin City." As luck would have it, a friend that lives there, was hosting a game night that the road crew and I were able to crash. we played Taboo (which I can't stand) and CatchPhrase which is like Taboo but I liked a little better. Also while in Vegas we saw one of the Cirque du Soleil shows, Zumanity. It was sexy! Don't you think?
Isn't there just something extremely sexy about a faun? Now truth be told I don't think THIS particular faun was the one we saw on stage, but the one on stage was snarling and growling and sliding across the stage....yummy!

To be honest the Madness wasn't all fun and roses, I think spending so much time together, all up in each other space, worked everyone's nerve to some extent, but we managed to survive. Although I did threaten to cut them "bitches" a couple times with my butcher knife.......umm jokingly!? All in all I think everyone had a great time.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Date Night Part 2

Self,

Due to the complex situation and extenuating circumstances a portion of my date from Saturday was postponed from Saturday until Monday.

Since I have an idea of what the meal DATEE is planning to make I know that there isn't any vegetable on the menu. After I get off work, I run to the store and get some Brussels Sprouts and plan to make that to have with the food he intends to prepare.

DATEE arrives and I let him do his thing in the kitchen. he pulled the pan of Mac & Cheese out. He rinses and drains the chicken thighs. He fills the pot that the chicken is in with just enough water to cover the thighs and starts the fire. He goes to sit on the sofa and starts to watch a DVD, while I'm working on some paperwork for a client. Some where in the cooking process of for the chicken, he pours a bottle of teriyaki marinade into the boiling water. When he tells me that the chicken should be ready in about 20 minutes that's when I go into the kitchen to start the brussels sprouts. When the sprouts were about done he checks and tastes his Macaroni and decided that he would really like to have more cheese, so we walk around the corner to the store he gets some more cheese. I grate it over the top of the pan for him and he puts it back in the oven.

When it ready he fixes our plates and we sit on the sofa to eat and finish the DVD he had started. When the movie is over we talk for a while about several things, but of course his cooking is one of the topics of discussion. No I didn't just tell him his cooking sucked or anything like that. I told him I wasn't fond of his mac & cheese and that maybe I'll make mine for him to show him an alternative recipe. The chicken wasn't bad, I would have done it very differently, but it worked. He says he really liked the sprouts, even though it had onion and he says he doesn't like onions, (a fact I didn't know until too late.)

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

Date Night!

Self,

Well, Saturday I had a date, and for simplicity I will call him DATEE. I've been "talking to" this guy for about three weeks now. He's 29 and lives like a 20-30 minute drive away. He let me know in advance that this past weekend he would be taking a certification class that would be basically down the street from where I live. So we already had planned to hang out after his class we just had not decided what we would do. I thought a friend of mine was going to be throwing a party that I would have taken my date with me to attend, but the party was canceled. So like last Wednesday or Thursday, DATEE recites the old "wives tale" comment that"the way to a man's heart is through his stomach," and he adds "his dick an ass." While I'm recovering from laughing, DATEE says he's going to cook for me on Saturday because he was going to impress me with his cooking, then seal the deal on my heart by the other afore mentioned means. This is when this date started to take form.

The first redflag came up after saying he wanted to "wow" me with his cooking, DATEE was going to try to get me to get the stuff he needed from the store. OOPS. (I'm sorry if my goal is to impress someone by cooking in THEIR kitchen, I'm planning to show up on their doorstep with all the ingredients I need in hand, except for cookware - and I might even bring that too.)

Ironically on Friday I hear from my brother Schehimazade, who happens to be in town, that he has an extra ticket to a dance performance in Pasadena where a ballet company will be performing a piece he choreographed. Well it's been a while since I've seen any contemporary ballet and although I can't tell him this cause I don't need his head any bigger than it is, Schehimazade is very talented in that area although working for pop artist like Madonna and Cher are the gigs that pays the bills. SO I wanted to go, but I had this date planned. Compromise - if DATEE wanted to go to the show, I'll buy an odd seat for Schehimazade, and DATEE and I would use the pair and sit together. If DATEE wasn't interested than Schehimazade could give the ticket to someone else. DATEE said he wanted to go.

So Saturday morning DATEE sends a text while he's in class saying he forgot his belt to wear to the show that night. I suggest he just grabs one from Target down the street. (We're different sized, so me lending him one wouldn't have worked.) Next he send another text about me getting what he needs from the store and I tell him my philosophy on the situation, not to mention that I was working on other things I wanted finished before he got to my place, (Dishes, mop kitchen floor, vacuum, clean bathroom, shave etc etc etc.) Which meant I didn't have time to do the shopping too.

DATEE shows up nearly a hour and a half late to my place with several bags in hand. He says got out of class early and thought he had enough time to go back to his place to get his belt, and some ingredients from his own kitchen, but there was more traffic than he anticipated. I just show him to the kitchen and let him get started. in a bowl he whisks together some eggs, flour and milk and lets that sits while he starts a pot of macaroni on the stove, and starts grating cheese. Alright - Mac & Cheese. There's a bag of chicken thighs in the sink. He puts the chicken in a pot to soak, because the thighs are still frozen! Meantime the noodles are cooked and he pours the noodles, cheese and that egg-flour-milk mix into an aluminum pan that he brought with him. That is left sitting on the counter while he checks the chicken. The chicken is still frozen and its about 7pm and the show starts at 8pm. I tell him he should go shower so we can get to the show on time. I'm rather hungry because I haven't eaten anything since like noon because I didn't want to ruin my appetite for this "impressive" meal... but I don't complain. DATEE pretty much leave everything where it is with the plan that he will finish cooking when we come back from the show.

We get to the show, just before it starts. Find Schehimazade and take our seats. After the show Schehimazade having had me snap at him in the past when my blood sugar is too low and I haven't eaten in a while, orchestrates for us to go to a bar next door that was still serving food. I buy myself and DATEE an appetizer and a cocktail. When we return to my place it's too late for DATEE to cook, so we decide that he can try again on Monday to finish"impressing" me with his "cooking skills," then put everything in the frig.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

PS Date Night part Duex later - Y'all when I tell you what he did with that chicken on Monday!

Now Write It.

Self,

The Last night I received a slight blow.....maybe it was to my ego. I honestly am not sure, I just know the statement made me feel some kind of way, when I heard it.

I was in a training class with two colleagues from my financial services firm I'm building. We strayed a bit off work related topics and through the course of that series of tangent conversations my tow colleagues were in on the same page to the idea that my handwriting appears "juvenile."

I was kind of stunned. Don't get me wrong I never have been told that I had "pretty" handwriting...well maybe once, but also didn't not have an expectation for my handwriting to be pretty. As I remember it, the only people who ever had "pretty" handwriting were girls. I never intended for my writing to be pretty. That said, I also would not have thought of it as juvenile, either.

I mean I was hurt enough that for a second in my thought process before penning this post I was considering taking sometime to figure out how I could improve my handwriting.

{SIGH}

Fuck it, I got enough other shit in my life to address, I don't need to concern myself with the fact that there are some who think my handwriting looks juvenile. It's not as if my writing is unreadable. Why add to my load by trying to improve it? With the invention of keyboards and all the advances in technology, nobody really writes anything these days, anyway.

(Yet, as much as that makes sense to me, there is a part of me that is thinking of how can I get a pen-pal to whom I could write at least once a month.)

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

M.A.L.E.

Self,

I just learned that a blog that I am a contributing writer on has been deleted. What's even more disturbing is that its founder, my friend Duke Darktomahawk (Double D), was not the person that deleted it. Apparently Blogger deleted it due to a complaint. Blogger said that they warned him of the complaints/violations, however Double D says that he was just as shocked to find that his blog was deleted, because he did not receive any notifications. NOw part of Double D's problem is that he has yet to have any communication from Blogger. According to him he still does not know what "violation" he committed, he did not have a chance to contest the claim that he had violated Blogger's terms of usage and he doesn't have a means to contact Blogger to find out how he can fix the situation to have M.A.L.E. restored.

So the idea that M.A.L.E. was deleted with out warning and Double D is accused is a bit well fearful. From what I can tell someone simply said that M.A.L.E. was in violations and Blogger's response was simply to take that person(s) at their word and punish Double D and M.A.L.E. by removing the site. What that says about Blogger is that anyone can have a personal vendetta against a blog author and Blogger will take the side of the vendetta. The strange thing about the situation is what could have been so offensive to a person to warrant reporting M.A.L.E. to blogger. I mean as many people who have blogs that include pictures and videos of actors, sports figures, musicians, models etc the violation can't be copyright related. And as many blogs as I've seen (and frequent) that show full frontal nudity and/or describe the author's personal sexual escapades, sexually explicit content can't be the reason that M.AL.E. was deleted particularly, since that was recently and whole heartedly banded from the site. So all that does is makes me wonder if any person's blog safe?

I choose to write about the things that happen to me in my life and the things that I notice around me as I live my life. Others choose to focus their blogs the things they like, rather that be sex, celebrities, politics, religion or a plethora of other topics, I don't think a person should be able to say I have a problem with any particular blog and Blogger deletes it.

Sincerely,
Pharaoh

PS: Double D isn't going to let the "haterz" hold hime down M.A.L.E. will be up and running again as soon as possible.

How do you know...?

Self,

A while back, I went to visit a friend. The purpose of the visit was just to hang out, in addition to him wanting my opinion and help on a writing project of his. At some point in the course of the visit it turned into him ranting about all the things that HE think are wrong in MY life. (Go figure, right?) The details of what he ranted about isn't important. Usually, when I ask him for his opinion about situations in my life, he gives good advice and is very helpful. I guess, those instances usually earns him a pass for these ranting sessions so I tend to let them roll off me like water on a duck's back. For the most part that's what happened during this ranting session. Except for one thing, this time.

Now, I'm not saying that he's right about his ranting on this one subject, I'm just saying that it didn't just go in one ear and out the other. This particular item raised an interesting question. Apparently, my friend took it personal when I wrote in my [Welcome 2010] post that he doesn't know me as well as he thinks he does because he didn't think that I was the church type. He's partially right, I'm not the church type, but I go occasionally. What I feel he is dead wrong about is that he went on to say, as he looked down the finger he had pointing at me, that I don't live a spiritual life, but he does.

Well honestly as I said when he has these episodes, I just mentally check out, so I was surprised that my mind had register that comment. This was the same man that when I tried to share my experience of attending a Hindu service several years ago, he asked if my reason for attending was that I went looking for "dick." So from that point on I knew that spiritual matters wasn't his strong suit and it wasn't something I should or wanted to discuss with him. So it makes sense that he wouldn't know about that aspect of my life now all these years later.

I was also shocked by his statement that HE lives a spiritual life. As I said, I already figured spirituality wasn't one of his strong suits and in the years since we been friends I hadn't seen any evidence to the contrary of that understanding. This is the same person who to my recollection has not once been to church the entire ten years that I've known him. This is the same man that always seems so negative and doesn't make any sort of spiritually encouraging statements about himself or others. So, I was baffled to see where spirituality took form in his life. Not to mention what gave him the authority/audacity to judge my level of spirituality.

Yes I know attending church does not equate to living a spiritual life. I understand that church goers could be just as likely to beat their wives every morning before getting coffee; molest/rape children in the afternoon; or commit adultery every night as "heathens."

Spirituality generally is used to express that a person has an extremely personal and PRIVATE relationship with God. So then, sadly a church goer could do those things above because of in their understanding of their relationship with God, they feel they are doing what God has told them to do. And since spirituality doesn't not have to involve a "church" a person may develop their relationship with God by smoking weed everyday, or by finishing a fifth of rum every night, or during orgasms. Isn't one's personal relationship with God the foundation for a person to fight a holy war? It's that personal belief that someone has insulted them, their faith, and their God, to lead someone to die defending their faith, honor, and religion.

Is it possible for me to ever see evidence that my friend does lead a spiritual life? (Short of us discussing it.) Hell for that matter what proof could he possibly think he have to say that I don't live one? "How do you know," was the question that was raised in my mind when I heard his comment. How does anyone ever know if someone else lives a spiritual life? I mean my friend doesn't know about the time I spend at home meditating. He doesn't know when, where, why, how often I pray. He doesn't know when, where, why and how often I thank God/the Creator/the universe for all the blessings in my life and the blessing of my life itself. It's never really been anything that I felt I needed to broadcast.

Was this just me being a tourist or me making a pilgrimage to a reverend site in 2007?

I mean really, How do you know...?

Sincerely,
Pharaoh