Getting Lost....And Found

Self,

Not to long ago I stopped and visited my Aunt Kwe-Kwe...or is it Cray-Cray...lol anyway.  Along with all the other things that goes with our visits, she shared some new music with me....there's three CDs but I'm only discussing one in this entry. 

This is for those jazz heads!

The CD:  The Mosaic Project
The Artist:   Terri Lynn Carrington (you may remember her as the drummer and musical director for the band on the Arsenio Hall Show in the '90s.)
The Track:  "I Got Lost in His Arms"

I am not ashamed to say that I have been rocking the hell out of this song!  I love it!  It has a funky groove, the horns are on FI-YAH.    Below is a Youtube clip giving you a sample of it.




HOT, Right,?!?!?  I'm not done.   As hot as the arrangement is, I think what hits home the most for me are the lyrics;

I got lost in his arms

And I had to stay;

It was dark in his arms

And I lost my way.

From the dark came a voice

And it seemed to say,

There you go,

There you go.

How I felt as I fell

I just can't recall.

But his arms held me fast

And it broke the fall.

And I said to my heart,

As it foolishly kept jumping

All around,

I got lost,

But look what I've found.

These words are communing to a part of me.  The more I listen to the song....which is almost constantly riding around in Thunderbolt, the more I realize...That's something I want.  I want to get lost in someone's arms and be astonished at the fact that I am also holding on to a treasure....I don't mean a trophy, but something to truely cherish. 

On top of that.....I want that feeling for everybody!  Of course I am more confident that it will happen for others than myself...and I will always be that cheerleader to push folks towards it when I think I see it....but alas for me I just don't know.  However I am in a ongoing discussion with DaBlackHobbit about faith and fear and I'm choosing to have faith....and take actions regardless of the results....that's always the hard part.....for all of us....everyone is always affraid of being hurt/dissappointed/let down AGAIN, that the fear of it causes paralysis.

I would like to think that it will happen...for me, my friends and everyone else, it just takes time and patience.  But atleast its progress from the days when my heart communed with "Good Morning Heartache" and "This Bitter Earth"......OK...both songs can still stop me in my tracks and nearly bring tear to my eyes, but hey there's still some growth there dammit! LOL.

Sincerely,
Pharoah

Strap It Up and Strap It On!?

Self,

So I don't know what I'm doing that is attracting this...array of people.

Last night on one of those social media phone apps....I got hit up by a WOMAN...no I don't mean a fem gay man....I mean a W-O-M-A-N who wants to meet a man that would be willing to let her F*ck him using a strap on dildo.

I don't know what made her think I would be open to it.  When she asked me about rather I would be open to it...because the conversation started with the game backgammon, I told her I didn't know cause I never thought about it.  I asked her why don't she do it with a nother woman...and she said he not attracted to women that way....go figure.

I feel like I am sending out a "bat-signal" into the universe that reads something like the plaque on the statue of liberty...."send me your inexperienced, horny, freaky huddled masses...."

I have had a number of virgins approach me ...some wanting me to be their first.  Did I mention the kid that asked if I knew any other tops/vers guys...and if I could host a group? 

Man, if I were to ever let my internal sex beast cut loose....I would either shrivel up from all the semen I would have to produce to keep up....or would simply drown from it!

Sincerely,

Pharoah

PS...Dammit when I put it that way....it's kinda a turn on!  That is cutting the beast loose, not the strap on.

A Good Day

Self,

So yesterday was a good day!

It started out with a go-see.....that neither of us wanted to end.

We meet at 11am at The Grove outdoor shopping center.  We went to one of the restaurants there and had brunch....and talked.  When we finished eating we walked around a bit visiting a few of the stores there, one of which was the Apple store.  He then suggested that we leave and go a few blocks of the street to a Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf to sit and talk some more.  After about another 2 hours of talking he wanted me to ride with him a few blocks to the Beverly Center mall so he could check for something at the Apple store in that mall.  We walked and talked as we meandered through the mall and then finally he took me back to my car where we then made plans to see each other later in the week and went our seperate ways.

I had a good time, he seems like a good dude.  What I'm not sure how I to deal with is his age...he just turned 49...granted the body and all doesn't look over 35-36....I know it probably seems small...but it still.......puzzle me if we get to a point where we are talking long-term situations. 

However I guess I shouldn't put the cart before the house, and just wait and see.

Pharoah

A Summer Blast

Self,

For the past two weeks I have been working at the satelite office in Van Nuys rather than the main office in Glendale.  And not too long ago an met this guy who lives about a mile away from the Van Nuys office.   He's 28, 5'7 about 175 pounds, decent body brown skin....and seems like a sweetheart.

So in short we have hooked up a few times while I was in the area....mostly quickies while I was on my lunch break.....the session have been....enjoyable to say the least.  Friday September 7th was the end of my shift at the Van Nuys and it worked out that we were able to meet up after work and not be quite as rushed.

OK so for me I enjoy witnessing/expereincing the person I'm with climax....(yes I like to get mine too, but my partner's is often the catalyst) and his have been good.  But on friday....OMG!  On Friday he.....

He was bucking and jerking so hard that I was a little worried that me might be having a seizure.....this happened twice in the 3 hours I was there....there was an hour nap in between though.  I thought it was so HOT!   I was already feeling bad that he lived so far and out the way that I probably wouldn't see him again for a while....although after those seizure like explosions I was considering the possibility of making a special trip to the valley to "hang out" with him.  THEN as I'm getting dress to head out he tells me he is moving.....even further into the valley to Encino...almost as far as where KB lived/lives.  I'm like AH FUCK! 

I really have no desire to make that drive....however it's not like we are dating or plan to ...so it not like I will be going up there all the time...but still that's far!  So I don't know if I should just let the connection fade or what....thoughts, suggestions???

Sincerely,

Pharoah

Chicken & Cake

Self,

So I hosted an intimate potluck and these were my contribution along with homemade Sesame ice cream.

Tequila-Lime Chicken hot off the grill.

The cake....well my Mistress calls it "The Orgasm Cake"....yeah it's that good!

Sincerely,
Pharoah

It's Just ME...nobody else.

Self,

Well it would appear that since nobody is commenting that it's probably a sign meaning that nobody is reading this blog anymore, which may just be how the cookie crumbles, I guess. 

At the same time, "irredardless" of that...I just want to vent at the moment.

Why is is always so damn hard.  I'm starting to think that it is pure lunacy for us people to have a little faith that things will work out for the best.

I've moved back home, giving up on some of the things I like to do with the idea of making some sacrafices to be responsible. 
Now after two years....JUST as I was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel per se......Thunderbolt is ill and had to take him the the mechanic......and to get him feeling better I have to come up with $1200!

To spend that kind of money...will suddenly make the credit card hole I've been working to fill for the past two years a hella lot deeper meaning that it will take me longer to pay that mess off.  OR I will have to tap into the meager savings I've been stashing away as a downpayment on a house...making it longer that I'll have to stay at my parents to afford to make that purchase in order to recoop that loss.  Either way  I will have to stay at my parents a bit longer.

It almost makes me feel that all the things I like to do that I didn't do were sacraficed for nothing.  My biggest sacrafices have been not taking any trips...for fun (I did take a few for business that I managed to squeeze out some fun on, but that wasn't the purpose of the trips.)  I would love to get out of LA and hit up NYC,  I could have went to Miami earlier this year but I said it wasn't the fiscally responsible thing to do, so I didn't.  I been wanting a 64G iTouch for 2-3 years now but that $300 I decided to put towards my debt...and well continue to do so since I haven't bought it.

Maybe I should just say to hell with it and do something for myself....that voucher is sounding good...although I was going to let it go so I would spend the money on airfare to go someplace to use it.

I don't know, it almost make more sense to think that everything is always going to be fucked up...and that "good things" that come my way are really just things being not as fucked up.

Sincerely,
Pharoah

Where in the World?

Self,

I recently found out that I have for lack of a better word, a gift certificate or voucher for lodging through a my timeshare. Although I need to investigate it a bit more, it looks like it is good at any of the properties available either through my direct timeshare or it's affiliate programs....which is HUGE.  Essentially...the world is in my backyard.  The voucher gives me a 7-day stay for less than $300....which is great cause I would imagine that some of those place go for that much a night.  There ar some "black periods" but that's not that big of a problem.  The bigger problem is where to go sense  I really can't afford to fly just ANYWHERE....I mean I bet airfare to Fiji would be murder!

For the most part, I think I can arrange to take as much as 10-12 days off from work if I wanted it...(the perks of being on the same job for 11 years.)  The problem is I'm not sure where to go....and more specifically where to go alone...cause I don't know of anyone else who can either get the time off to go or afford to fly someplace right now.


I'm open to suggestion, please???


Sincerely,
Pharoah

Olympic Crushes

Self,

It's that time again! when every four years the nations of the world come together to compete in various displays of skill and talent, to express our pride in our culture and heritage.  I mean it's amazing that even countries where the dust has barely settled from civil wars have a team representing them in London. 

So I been trying to follow the games as much as possible with the crazy broadcasting schedule.  There's already been a few crushing competition, I have been enjoying the 2012 Olympic Games in London.

One of the most major and amazing of crushing blows that have been handed out thusfar has been Michael Phelps amazing 23 career awarded Oymplic medals....making him the world's most celebrated athlete.  CONGRATS to him. (Side-note; During these games I learned that there are cash prizes that coincide with each medal...that would make coming in 4th place really SUCK...doubly!)

Along with Mr. Phelps' achievement, I also have to give it up to Serena Williams who won gold in the Women's singles  (and doubles actually with her sister) tennis competition.  Serena's medal award completes what I heard refered to as a career "golden slam," which is the grand slam of (Wimbledon, US, French, and Australian Opens) combined with the gold medal.  Serena goes in the history book as only the second woman ever to achieve such an accomplishment and obviously she is the first African-american to do so in singles, although she and Venus completed a career Golden Slam in doubles with the 2000 games.  FYI- German, Steffi Graf is still the only person to win a calendar Golden Slam.)

Then there is the 2012 US Women's Gymnastics team - "The Fab Five/"  Gold Medal winners in the all around.  First time this has happen I think they said since 1988!  Way to go girls!  I think they are barely 20 and the way that sports phase out athletes...they might get to compete in 2016 before retiring.

A slightly different crush was handed to the US Women's Beach volleyball team of May & Walsh.  These ladies are the reigning undefeated Olympic champions since the 2000 games....well they were undefeated until last week.  In these games they have so far loss just one set to an Austrian team, who they eliminated after that loss.  May and Walsh are still held to be the favorites to win the gold medal this year, they will just no longer be able to add the distincition of doing so in undefeated sets to that accomplishment.  However no longer having the pressure of upholding that level of perfection may make their advance to victory that much easier now.

I will have to say I love The Olympic Summer games.  The thrilling rivalry, the overhelming patriotism and the sharing in our admirations of our finest athletes.

And I do mean PHINE...man I love the global sampling of eye candy that I can only get every 4 years!  There are several Olympic crushes that I have now....and I'm sure as the games continue there will be more...but I have to share.

John Orozco US Gymnastics...who unfortunately has been eliminated...but probably my favorite.


 2012 US Gymnastic Bronze medal winner, Danell Leyva

2012 US Swimming Silver Medalist, Cullen Jones

2012 South African Swimming Gold Medalist, Chad le Clos

2012 US Sprinter, Ryan Bailey

 2012 Algerian Gold Medalist Taoufik Makhloufi
2012 British Gymnastic Silver Medalist, Louis Smith

2012 US Sprinter Justin Gatlin

Sincerely,
Pharoah

Who are some of your Olympic Crushes....I know I am not the only one with some.

The Animals......Politically Speaking

Self,

Ok I gotta ask, is anyone else watching this "limited series event" as they are calling it, "Political Animals," on the USA cable network? 

I started watching because I like Sigourney Weaver.  I think she is a great actress and this being the first television show (that I can recall) that she has starred in I was willing to give it a shot.  Well, I have to say it's pretty good. 

So the premise: Weaver plays former First Lady and current Secretary of State, Elaine Hammond.  Elaine made a run for the presidency but had to conceed victory in the primaries to a younger, "less expereinced," male opponent, who ultimately becomes President of the United States. 

Now, I'm sure you can tell from that decription that it's no secret that Elaine Hammond is a character that pays homage to real-life Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton.  Add on the fact that Elaine's ex-husband, former President "Bud" Hammond, is known for his scandalous sexploits and affairs while in the White House and the resemblance becomes even more clear.

There are major differences between the Hammonds and the Clintons, first of which is obviously the divorce of the fictional Hammonds. As well as the fact that in stead of a daughter, the Hammonds had twin sons, one of which is credited as being the first openly gay child in the White House. (That I think was done for the theatrics and to capture some gay audience members.)

With the similarities tied down in place, it makes me wonder, what's the point?  Is it just entertainment? Is it simply someone's "what if" thought come to life on screen?  Add the fact that at the end of the first episode Elaine Hammond secretly decides to make a second run for the Presidency against her fellow political party member and the incombant, could it be propaganda?  Usually fiction comes from real life events but occasionally real life falls into step behind fiction.  Could the show be a ploy to see how America would feel about Mrs. Clinton taking another bid for the Presidency?  Considering that the Presidential election is like 4 months away I don't think that it's likely that Hillary will be trying to run against Obama and Biden aside from it being possible career suicide if she tried under those circumstance. But who's to say the show isn't planting a seed for 2016.


Sincerely,
Pharoah

Two Days in the Park

Self,

This seems to be my year to attend music festivals.  I already mentioned that I went to the Playboy Jazz Festival back in June.  Now I'm sharing the fact that I just spent two days in San Dimas, CA at Bonelli Park for Jazzfest West.  The line up was great that it required attending both days.

Day 1:

Kem (pictured on left below,) Chaka Khan, Kenny G, along with some other opening acts.

Day 2:

Will Downing, Jill Scott (pictured on right below,) and Charlie Wilson, and again some other opening acts.

I really enjoyed myself.....aside from the heat!  OMG it was hot!  At the same time the heat provided plenty of eye candy!  If I was a "tits & ass" man....they were serving it up on a platter...in various shapes, sizes, and skin tones.  For the most part, the fellas in crowd kepts it basic either shorts or pants with a t-shirt. Some guys had tank tops to show off the guns and abs (if they had them) but mostly to combat the heat.  Even the the guys were neccessarily putting it on display, there were quite a few SEXY MUTHAS up in that piece!

There were lots of venders....obvious food being a good portion of them, but also artists, jewelry, hats and other various items.  I think it's safe to say that nobody had a dull moment.  Between preformers there was a DJ that kept the party rolling, and the crowd jumping.  There were several moments of group participation that involved: "The Wobble," "The Cha Cha Slide," "The Cupid Shuffle" (picture of the group of ladies below - can also expereince some of their attire,) and various other "Ooh That's my song" dance moments.

Like I said I had a good time maybe I'll go again next year.   In the mean time, there's talk about going to an R&B Festival in a couple weeks starring: Joe, Donnel Jones, Jon B, Cherelle, Angela Winbush, and a few other names I can't remember at the moment. 

It's Summer...Have a ball y'all, have a ball - I am!

Sincerely,

Pharoah